I was ministered to by a statement I wrote in my last note of the same topic. The statement says,
“If I was only making preparation just with marriage in mind, I will probably make a good wife, and make my husband my God (An idol). Or once I get married, I will feel the mission is accomplished and abort all learning process.”
So I gave myself some brain, and I examined myself and thought of ways to continually invest in my Marriage. The points below are things I want to do or improve on. You may learn one or two from My TO DO LIST.
Paul is probably right in 1 Corinthians 7:33 -34
“but the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the work of the Lord, how she can be holy in both body and spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.“
That’s my only excuse for my lowered “prayerbility” because I think I spent more time in prayers as a single lady than now as a married one. So the 1 hour standard for single Christian may not be good enough since it may become 5 mins after marriage. We should raise the bar to like 3 hrs so after marriage you can get 1 hour of prayer… lol. (That was a joke)
But the power of prayer cannot be overemphasized. It draws you closer to God, draws you closer to your spouse (Or what spouse wouldn’t fall in love over again when he or she hears you praying for his/her success). Pray for him/her, pray together, pray apart. Just make sure you pray.
Really, if there is no longer I and you in marriage but WE, then his/her success is your success. Prayer is one of your investment to the enterprise, and the dividend is usually a good, rich marriage which you can confidently enjoy unashamed.
Prayer Points to invest in your marriage:
· Ask God to remain the center of your marriage and his love abound in your heart.
· Pray for wisdom to build your home.
· Thank God for your spouse strength and gifts (Name them one by one. These reminds you of the blessings you have received in the person of your spouse).
· Thank God for your own strength and gifts. (Name them one by one.These reminds you of the blessing you are).
· Table your struggles and that of your spouse before God, ask him to mold you to be the person he planned for you to be.
· Pray neither you nor your partner would be a hindrance to your success.
· Don’t be ignorant of the devices of the enemy, pray against every evil plan, and shield your union with the blood of Jesus.
Yeah yeah, we hear this all the time. But for me, this is not the usual communicate your feeling, but your goals, dreams, desires, Interest. All the crazy thing you wanted to do as a child but didn’t tell anyone, all the words and promises God gave to you. Let him/her know who you are, who you want to be, who you wish you are, who you wish you are not. I believe these are serious and hilarious topics that may make you laugh, cry and most importantly make the bond stronger.
Bible says in Habakkuk 2:2; Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables that he may run that readeth it.
My husband probably won’t be surprise if I say I am going to LA to audition for a movie where they need a Nigerian mother. Lol, that’s a joke. No it’s not, but it’s a long thing. He won’t be surprised because he knows I am interested in things like that
Another important reason to communicate all your aspiration is so that he/she will push, encourage and help you achieve them, He/She can’t spur on something he has no clue about. So open up and tell him/her everything. Some may make you cry, some may make you argue and many (like my HollyWood interest) may make you laugh. The important thing is you are doing it together.
SET GOALS TOGETHER
While communication may be about expressing youself, so your spouse may know and help you be a more fulfilled YOU, Setting goals is more about the both of you.
These are some of the questions you may ask to help you find things you can do together:
Where does your dream and desire fall within OUR plan?
What project can we undergo together?
What can we do together to make more money? (My favorite topic)
What fun thing can we do to make us better couple?
What new hobby can add fun to our life and marriage?
Many times we walk alone forgetting we are married, busy chasing our individual dream, and find we are miles apart. Doing things together maximizes your strength and minimize the weaknesses to do it often. It ignites the power of Two.
Okay going to stop here for now, need to go and revive my prayer life.
I am pearl.
Adejoke, is an information technology specialist. She holds a masters degree in Management Information Systems, and bachelor’s in Computer Science.
An avid reader who enjoys writing plays and teaching kids.
She is married and lives in the United States with her husband (Victor) and two lovely daughters (Oluwanifise and Mojetoluwa).