The sound of each second that pass is unbearable and the bass sound from my rapid heartbeat is almost traumatizing. There is a smell of fear and anxiety around the white painted room. My pupil dilate to catch any strange expression from the doctor. I cannot believe this is happening to me just when I decide to be close to God.
“It is well, we will trust in the Lord, he will not leave or forsake us”. Tayo says interrupting the silence.
I ignore Tayo, his words do not seem to be doing anything at the moment.
“Doctor what is it?” I ask nervously. Despite the cold air blown into the examination room I feel sweat on my armpit and my palms.
“Trust in the Lord”. Tayo interrupts, annoying me.
“Since you trust in the Lord can we just leave this examination room and go home?” My sarcasm is unmistakable.
“Omolade please relax”, Kayla says from across the room.
“I don’t get. I only asked the doctor a simple question. I don’t think I need all these lecture at the moment”.
“I know, and I’m telling you to trust in the Lord. It’s His report that we will believe and not the doctor.” Tayo repeats in an annoyingly calm voice.
I really do not get Tayo at times. We are talking about something serious and he is quoting scripture. It’s just hard to deal with this, I am not ashamed to say I have no faith in God at the moment and that doesn’t make me less of a Christian.
“Doctor what is it? What can you see?” I ask again, impatiently.
“Omolade relax. Let him be done with the examination”. Tayo snaps at me this time.
I don’t like the tone of his voice especially when Kayla can hear us “How won’t you say I should relax when you’re not the one carrying the child”. I retaliate in anger
“I see”. He says in a tone that gives me the chills. He opens his mouth to say more but breaks off, He shakes his head instead and gives a sarcastic laugh.
The doctor looks at me and smiles “You have to relax Madam. There are actually no issues. I am just checking to make sure I am leaving no stone unturned”. He faces Tayo. “Sir Can we meet me in my office so I can give you a comprehensive report?”
Yipee, there are no issues, I am not bothered by the medical gibberish the doctor had said, so far he had said there are no issues I am fine.
Would you take me for my word? My spirit says but I ignore it to think of my husband.
Since everything is fine, I can now think of begging him for my earlier behaviour.
Baby girl is fine to the glory of God. “Yes it’s a baby girl” and I can’t wait to take Minime pictures and do some lovely colourful hairstyles for my baby. I squeal in delight albeit quietly. I think of what is happening with Ashley and the muscles on my face contract to form a frown. Now I have to share the attention that’s supposed to be for me to celebrate the creation of our first child with Ashley who is still in the hospital.
Apparently Kayla and Tayo have similar behaviours, so I have discovered. I am not a bad person, but when people start acting over good, it gets on my nerves and Tayo and Kayla are doing just that with this Ashley’s case.
“Doesn’t she have a family? Which one is all this numerous trips to the hospital”. I grumble
I cook lunch and pack some clothes for Kayla who has refused to leave Ashley’s bedside at the hospital. Not that I mind her act of compassion, It’s just that her constant presence beside Ashley makes me feel inadequate as a friend, It shows me in a bad light ’cause up until the accident Kayla had never met Ashley yet she was acting so nice to her and I have not been able to fully make up for the insult I threw at her the other day.
I’m about to head out to the hospital where my brutally abused friend is receiving treatment when I receive a call from my darling mother in law who informs me of her visit to our house next week. I make a mental note to stock up the house with food and also clear out the other spare room before her arrival as this is the first time she’ll be visiting.
I get to the private ward of the hospital where Ashley is, only to see Tayo standing by Ashley’s bed.
“Hey babe you didn’t say you were coming here today? “I say in surprise. A small frown forming on my face.
“I know love”. He gives me several pecks before he hugs me in a tight embrace.
“I just came to pray and check on her briefly before I head back for work. Remember I told you I will be having a meeting today for 6pm”. I nod “By the time I finish from the meeting it will be late to visit the hospital and you know Ashley needs our support at this time”.
I nod some more as I listen to the rest of his explanation. His excuse seems tangible enough and I am somewhat glad that my husband is nice even though I wonder why he had to stress himself to visit Ashley when even her own husband and family members had not come visiting.
“Omolade”. Kayla calls in a tired voice. I find it a bit weird that she’s calling me by my first name since I am older than her by a few months, I guess it has to do with her closeness to Tayo ’cause in Yoruba culture it is not acceptable.
“Kayla how are you?. I respond since she just called my name without greeting me”.
There’s no harm in you greeting her first.
“Thanks for the food “. She says to me as she opens the basket containing yam and fish pepper soup with fruits that I brought..
“You’re welcome”. I reply with a smile.
I am walking to a sleeping Ashley when I turn to meet Kayla’s eyes on me. I pause in my steps, It’s obvious she has something to say to me.
“Is anything the matter?” I ask
She clears her throat, hesitant to speak. “Omolade what do you think about Ashley staying with us for a while once she’s discharged and until she gets better?”.
My lower jaw drops- My mouth is ajar. I look properly at her to be sure that I had not heard the wrong thing. I look at Tayo for confirmation but he stares back at me as if Kayla had just said God is good instead of the stupid suggestion she just made.
“I don’t understand”. My eyebrow shoots up questioning the idea thrown at me.
The silence stretches for a while, when it shows no sign of letting up I break it. “Do you know about this Tayo?” I ask with a hint of anger.
I don’t give him a chance to explain anymore, I am already pissed at Kayla for making a decision without consulting me and also at Tayo for not saying anything.
“I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back”. I say without looking at anyone. I don’t want to say anything in front of Ashley who could wake up at any time, so I don’t look like Judas the betrayer of relationships , neither do I want to say anything insulting to Kayla as per my in law or to Tayo, so it doesn’t seem like I am a disrespectful wife. I just want to play it safe, after all wisdom is profitable to direct.
I look at Omolade, my wife and I’m sure without a doubt that she’s going to throw a tantrum tonight when we are alone. I think of the stress I have to face at home tonight after my meeting and I can’t help the tired tired groan that escapes my mouth. I wish she was just a little bit patient.
I only just heard about Kayla’s suggestion for the first time as Omolade and I don’t see any reason to fuss about it. It’s actually not a bad idea but I don’t want to take sides between the two women, it’s even hard to do so because I know both of them so much and I almost understand their thoughts and decision process. I know my closest cousin Kayla, she is too much of a compassionate person. She doesn’t need to know you too well before she gives her arms and legs to give help as so far she connects to you.
Several years ago when I was still trying to secure my foot in the things of Christ and would misbehave, Kayla was my constant support. She would scold me or even slap me but she would never condemn me. I remember during my days of ignorance when my girlfriend and I had wanted to abort a child. Kayla got a wind of it and came after me like a hungry lion sighting fresh blood.
She had gone on her knees with a downpour of tears running down her pretty face. She had begged and pleaded with my then girlfriend and I not to abort the child. She had begged as if it was her child we wanted to kill.
“Kayla I cannot have the child looking like that girl. I am not even sure that the child is mine. Just take a look at her lifestyle!” I said to her in defence
“But the tattoos or whatever is on her body or even her life style does not mean the child should be killed!” She had pleaded. “Your reasons do not justify your decision to kill a child. For Christ sake you saw all this on her and still had sex with her. Accepting her Tattoo body shouldn’t be an issue”.
“Tattoo is not the issue Kayla. She drinks, she smokes, she does drug …How on earth am I to allow that woman be the mother to my child?”. I argued further even though my conscience screamed at me not to abort.
She had only looked at me before she responded in a calm voice. “If you think she cannot be a mother to the baby, do you mind if I be a mother to the child instead? Please don’t abort that Child Tayo, don’t put blood on your hands. The lord detest murder.”
Her response ticked something on the inside of me and ever since that day I loved her in a different way. I would later know that she was speaking from a love angle gotten from her interaction and relationship with the source of Love, Christ.
I thank God I had not aborted that child or else I would never have had peace making a child with another woman. Eventually my then girlfriend had a miscarriage due to excessive intake of Alcohol. The death of the child that I had come to accept affected me for a long time, It was what eventually led me to Christ finally as my only resort. And to imagine Omolade having the gut to tell me indirectly that I am incapable of loving our child because I am not the one carrying it hurts me greatly.
Till today I have not told Kayla the outcome of the then pregnancy and she never asked me about it neither did she treat me with disdain, judge me or ring it in my ear to make me feel miserable. Instead she had encouraged me in the lord and helped me fan the fire in my desire for him.
Kayla’s weeping voice brings me to the present. “T-man please plead with your wife, I cannot allow this woman go back to her husband”. She points to a sleeping Ashley.
I pull her into a hug to comfort her. “I know dear. Worry for nothing but with prayer and supplication let us make our request known to God. We need to take orders from him, let us pray and hear what God thinks first. Okay?”.
She gives a loud hiccup “I already did T-man. God wants us to help this woman” She says in a trembling voice. I don’t like to see her or any woman cry, it makes me weak and vulnerable.
I am still trying to comfort Kayla who is still weeping in my arms when Omolade returns. She takes in the scene before she throws a nasty look at me.
I feel my heart break as she walks away.
“Only if she will be patient enough not to judge too quickly, only if she will not respond too fast, only if she will not respond with her emotions,only if she will open her spirit more to love and maybe accept people irrespective of what they do or not”.
I know God chose Omolade to be my wife but sometimes the things she does almost makes me doubt His choice for me.
It’s not the major things but the little things that seems inconsequential to her.I still hurt a lot from what she had said at the hospital to me regarding the baby. For the fact that she is the one carrying our child does not make me love the child any less.
”God help me. Why do I have to go home tonight?”
Author’s Bio :
God’s chick first…Living in the consciousness and basking in the righteousness of He who poured His liquid love on me…Epistle of Christ, Gregarious…I like to write but I am sometimes too lazy to put my thoughts in word. I am human!