It had happened.
She was a married woman living in the confines of riches and plenty. Maids and servants at her beck and call. Food in great amount and variety. Respect from all who feared her husband. It was a different lifestyle from where she was coming from.
Abigail closed her eyes briefly. But all that mattered not to her apart from the moments in the wee hours of the morning she got to draw strength from YAHWEH. He was her only source of comfort when she felt despair. When she felt her life was without meaning. When she was forced to be with a man who had no respect for order or God.
Lord, please be gracious to me. Be gracious Lord, she prayed silently. During the years she had learnt something of utmost importance concerning the will of God. He had laid down laws, guides – to help His people in living life the way He wanted. It was in those ways purpose could be found.
Abigail was yet to find hers.
The wind blew and kissed her cheek softly. She wrapped her arms around her as she breathed in the scent of the sheeps. The air carrying their bleating. This was the life she had become accustomed to. Despite her skills of keeping to the animals back at home, her husband wouldn’t dare let her do such. It was as if she was in his house to be a trophy wife. As though she were a treasure for him to crown his successes.
Ever since her marriage to Nabal years back and tearfully hugging her father and Sarah goodbye, Abigail had been forced to grow up. Amazingly, there were people who looked up to her, having seen the vast difference between her and Nabal.
She let out a breath.
The Lord expected her to be faithful to her husband, to honor and obey him. She thought living with her father was hard. . . Her husband was much worse. How was she to live with such a stubborn man? He was churlish and proud. It mattered not to him what he did or said. He didn’t care how many he hurt with his unkind words. The other day she had caught one of the maid-servants in tears after she served him wine in a silver cup instead of gold.
Abigail made her way back into the house. The smell of roasted beef with herbs causing her tummy to grumble. But she was observing a fast. There was so much happening with the king and rumours of a man named David who the king’ s army were seeking to kill. She had never seen the man before, but people called him the ‘killer of ten thousands’. That he was but a young man with mighty strength from God. And when he played the harp it was a sweet melody that could bring one to tears.
Abigail wished to someday meet the man that was said to be in tune with God.
She snapped out of her reverie when she heard Nabal’s thick voice.
“Abigail! Come forth.” He beckoned to her.
She did as he directed and sat close to him on the cushioned chair.
“Have you beheld my garment? Beautiful isn’t it? I just had it made.”
“Indeed.” She said dryly. It was customary for him to flaunt his latest possessions at her. Getting joy from shoving it in her face. It made her remember times in her father’s house where they may not have had a lot, but she was content.
Nabal’s riches did little to her. Rather it only made her sad at his excess love of it and how he wantoned it away.
He cocked his brow at her and as he spoke his next words she felt a spittle on her upper lip. “You don’t sound convincing. You don’t like it? You think the silk isn’t appropriate? I know the heat can be unbearable but that doesn’t mean one should forsake such luxury for the unfortunate circumstances of nature.”
Her bows drew together. Unfortunate circumstances of nature? What does that mean?
“Well, if you love it that’s all that matters.”
He gave a toothy grin. “Wise of you to say, my dear wife.”
She restrained herself from saying more. Probably saying what would anger him. He was in a good mood and it was best she left it at that. She excused herself to her room after a while to say her prayers.
Love is a wasted emotion. You shouldn’t bother yourself with it. . . It lessens the pains and makes life more bearable. Trust me my dear. Love isn’t worth it. . . Abigail recalled the words of her father.
“Love can’t be a wasted emotion, Lord. Father must be wrong. Even if she was not head over heels in love with her husband she could care for him. She needn’t feel the butterflies in her tummy as Sarah often blabbered about.” Sarah! Abigail smiled. She missed her friend so much. What had become of her? Was she still in her parents house or had she finally found the man of her dreams?
Abigail sighed. She set aside her thoughts and communed with God.