STOP THE PEOPLE-PLEASING!
I had always lived to please people…
From flimsy things like the color of my hair ribbon to life changing decisions like my career path( I studied accounting even though I’ve always had a flair for photography, writing and social media). I was so caught up in the fact that if others didn’t approve of my decisions, then they were not valid.
I earned a reputation as “Miss Goody-Two Shoes” (that is someone who tries to be as good and “clean” as humanly possible) because Saying no was just too difficult a task but as I got older, I realized that I was hurting myself just to please these people and I decided to figure a way out and set boundaries for myself.
The flip side of this truth is that when we give our all to please others, we are in fact engaging in a type of worship towards those we want to please. Many pleasers believe this kind of behavior is “virtuous,” but it isn’t—because it is done with the unconscious motive of getting approval and acceptance in return.
Focus on pleasing God by seeking to know His will for each situation as it arises. It is not necessarily God’s will for us to do everything we are asked to do, even in the church! When our heart’s desire is to please God, we will be able to put others’ needs and desires in a healthy perspective.
Living co-dependently, our minds get muddled. We become more confused about what we think, feel and want. Sometimes we even feel guilty turning into our own desires, feeling selfish for having them. Hearing so many voices, we can’t distinguish those coming from ourselves, others or God. Simply put, there are too many people/voices in our heads.
There is only one remedy I know of to avoid being a people pleaser and that is learning to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in all we do.
That is one of the most exciting things about being a Christian. You and I have every reason to accept ourselves once we are convinced that we are children of God and that we are loved, forgiven and accepted by Him. When we are self-accepting, we don’t have to seek the approval and acceptance of others to confirm our personhood.
As pleasers accept the truth of their value in Christ and learn to budget their time according to their priorities and limits, they will soon feel positive new feelings about themselves. Their old behavior of looking to others for affirmation will fall away, and they will find themselves seeking out God rather than people for the satisfaction that only He can provide.
It’s a new year with #NewThings, let’s do away with the people pleasing and focus more on Christ.
Have a great day guys,
★Bible Quote for the Day:
Galatians 1:10 (KJV) For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Beniboba Princewill is an accountant but she’s very curious about a lot of things from food, photography, fashion, people, books and most recently…. Her hair.