Does God Choose Spouses For Us?

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So on to today’s topic! 

Does God Choose Spouses For us?

Questions often asked are, how would I know if he or she is the one? How would I know whom to marry? As we may have heard, the choice of who to marry is one of the most important decisions you need to make in your life.
If you make the wrong choice. . . It could mar your destiny.
Though there could be room for grace and mercy . . . It would require a lot of prayer and hard work to correct that which you could have avoided in the first place.

So how can I make the right choice? Does God choose spouses for us or we are free to make our own decisions and marry whomever we like?

Well I have three options as regarding that question.

IF YOU ALLOW GOD INTO YOUR CHOICE OF A SPOUSE, HE WOULD DIRECT YOU
Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said to the eldest servant of his house [Eliezer of Damascus], who ruled over all that he had, I beg of you, put your hand under my thigh; And you shall swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I have settled, But you shall go to my country and to my relatives and take a wife for my son Isaac.
Genesis 24:1‭-‬4 AMPC

According to Genesis 24 verse 4, Abraham was telling his servant, Eliezer, where to choose a spouse for Isaac and not wanting any inter-marriage with the heathens living around them. So Eliezer was to go to Abraham’s country and get a wife there.

Now there would be a few, if not many, women for Eliezer to choose from so how was the servant going to know which one was going to be a good wife for his master’s son?

And he said, O Lord, God of my master Abraham, I pray You, cause me to meet with good success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I stand here by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming to draw water. And let it so be that the girl to whom I say, I pray you, let down your jar that I may drink, and she replies, Drink, and I will give your camels drink also–let her be the one whom You have selected and appointed and indicated for Your servant Isaac [to be a wife to him]; and by it I shall know that You have shown kindness and faithfulness to my master.
Genesis 24:12‭-‬14 AMPC

Eliezer submitted the choice of a spouse to God. He presented how he would indeed know that God had chosen the woman if she did certain things. Not too long after he had spoken, Rebekah arrived. She did things exactly the way Eliezer had asked God.

Before he had finished speaking, behold, out came Rebekah, who was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Nahor the brother of Abraham, with her water jar on her shoulder. And the girl was very beautiful and attractive, chaste and modest, and unmarried. And she went down to the well, filled her water jar, and came up. And the servant ran to meet her, and said, I pray you, let me drink a little water from your water jar. And she said, Drink, my Lord; and she quickly let down her jar onto her hand and gave him a drink. When she had given him a drink, she said, I will draw water for your camels also, until they finish drinking. So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well and drew water for all his camels. The man stood gazing at her in silence, waiting to know if the Lord had made his trip prosperous. And when the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold earring or nose ring of half a shekel in weight, and for her hands two bracelets of ten shekels in weight in gold,
Genesis 24:15‭-‬22 AMPC

Coincidence? I don’t believe so.

GOD CAN APPROVE OR DISAPPROVE (IF the case may be) OF A SPOUSE
In the case of Joseph and Mary, God may not have exactly chosen them for eachother but He gave His approval for them to go ahead with their plans of marriage.

And her [promised] husband Joseph, being a just and upright man and not willing to expose her publicly and to shame and disgrace her, decided to repudiate and dismiss (divorce) her quietly and secretly. But as he was thinking this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, descendant of David, do not be afraid to take Mary [as] your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of (from, out of) the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 1:19‭-‬20 AMPC

Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never! Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.

1 Corinthians 6:15‭-‬17 AMPC

GOD CAN ALLOW YOU PICK AND YOU CAN BE REST ASSURED YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION.
For Hosea, God told him to pick a woman (prostitute) to marry. He didn’t tell Hosea a specific woman to pick.

When the Lord first spoke with and through Hosea, the Lord said to him, Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of [her] harlotry, for the land commits great whoredom by departing from the Lord. So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she became pregnant and bore him a son.
Hosea 1:2‭-‬3 AMPC

But please know you must be sure of this decision.

Do you feel at peace?
Do the both of you have the same vision of living your lives for God and loving Him?
Do you both have purpose and you are ready to support eachother?

What do the three scriptures have in common? GOD IS INVOLVED.

I’ve heard where people don’t believe God can choose a spouse for them or God already chose in the Garden of Eden and Adam blamed God for bringing Eve to him, implying it was God’s fault he/they fell and so God stopped choosing spouses. Or God didn’t force you to accept Him as Lord and Saviour so why would He choose a spouse for you? Well, He has given you a choice in accepting Him to be Your Lord and in turn you have given room for Him to guide you in life. Once you surrender your life to Him it’s no longer your life but His. And even with Him giving you a spouse to marry, the choice to accept is up to you.

I personally believe God would step in provided you make yourself available to Him. When I was going to get married I didn’t want to make any mistake. Mostly ’cause my parents are divorced. I wanted God to direct me in choosing a spouse so I fasted and prayed when it came to deciding. I know hubby and I both had God’s approval to go ahead.

Truth is IF you have a relationship with God there’s no need to fret about marriage and the choice to make.

You can also read the interviews on marriage here:

Marriage Interview with Heather Lindsey 

Marriage Interview with Eziaha

I would love to hear from you all that are married. How did you know your spouse was the one you should marry?

Bible Quote for the Day:

Isaiah 30:21 KJV, “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”

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topeogunyinka@gmail.com

Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages. Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life. She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

4 Comments

    • Hi Pelumi! Thanks for reading. Please share with friends. 😊

  1. insightful…..as children of God we need to involve God in every area of our lives. that includes marriage for our own benefits. Psalm 37:5. Thanks Mommy Mayowa

  2. lovely post you have here, like i also write on http://www.dare.com.ng that God give man the free-will to make his own decisions to follow God’s or the devil, choose from the good or bad which was what happened in the garden of Eden.
    Good to see like-minds like you here, keep spreading the GOODNEWS OF JESUS!

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