Relationship Talks

Ify Halim: Redefining Love


Hey guys! I’m so excited about the articles on love I’ve seen thus far, (which I would be sharing with you all this month), I’m learning a lot from other wonderful people. 🙂
   Sorry I won’t be posting the new series today, little things need to be sorted out. But enjoy this posts on love this week. Have a great day!


That moment when I realised that my definition of Love wasn’t so “Christian” after all.

Yes, I’ve always known that Love isn’t a feeling. And that Love and Sex should never be equated to mean the same. But the one thing that was head but not heart knowledge was that Love doesn’t start and end with me. It starts and ends with everyone else, but me.
I’ll explain…

Ladies can relate I’m sure, but whenever a guy starts “setting p” (for lack of a better phrase), my automatic response was to analyse him according to the Almighty list. Does he meet the criteria? Does he like the kind of things I like to do? Would he help me fulfil my purpose? Would he be a good father to my kids?

A lot of me, my and I in the mix, right?
It is also something guys can relate to, the shoe being on the other foot, because for some reason we have been wired to think this way, through the world and sadly, some well-meaning movies, books, relationship seminars, church programmes, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that having a list is a bad thing. But when Love only involves what the other person is bringing to the table, with little forethought – or as an afterthought – to what you too are bringing, then there is a problem.


Love is an act of servitude to Man:

“For God so loved the world that He gave…” – John 3:16

In the Bible, we see that Love always points to service of some kind, to adding value. For example, the 1 Corinthians 13 Love is presented as something that involves actions on our part with barely any reference to what the other person is doing or how he or she acts.

Also, Christ’s sacrifice for us, and Paul’s admonition to wives and husbands all point to a Love that is acted out for someone’s benefit. With these in mind, we can say that Love involves some sort of investment, the kind that is interested in helping to bring out the very best in the other person.

Love Speak:
“I am committed to helping you grow and reaching your fullest potential.”

“I am committed to putting up with your flaws (that are not detrimental to my personal wellbeing!) because I see past them.”

“I want to serve you. How can I be of service?”


Love is an act of servitude to God:

“… All things were created through him and for him.” – Colossians 1:16

The world’s form of love stirs up jealousy, anger and a bunch of other emotions because it’s not based on God’s rules or aligned to His desires for us. This is why we end up falling for the wrong person or falling at the wrong time, ending up with broken hearts, relationships and marriages.

Love is smarter than that. It gets us to ask for His advice on the whos, the whats and the whens because the why is settled – it’s all for Him in the first place.

In Joyce Meyer’s love story, her husband Dave actually prayed that God would send him someone who needed a lot of work. Dave was an investment in her life, through Gods grace, that has made her who she is today, a blessing to many. You could watch the interview of Joyce and Dave Meyer –

Everything we do, the things we say and the people we connect with, they all should have a place in the Master’s grand plan, or they’d have been a waste of our resources.

Question: How do you define, or re-define love? I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment in the box below. Thanks.


♡Bible Quote for the Day:
Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does.
1 Corinthians 14:1 MSG


Ifeoma “Ify” Halim is a Christian writer and media enthusiast with a passion for inspiring people to be purpose-driven and successful. She shares her reflections on Love, Faith and Purpose on




Don’t miss out on the Rings and Roses Valentine series this Friday.
And if you didn’t read the Rings and Roses series on my previous blog and would love to do so, just send a short love story to my email,
If the judges like it, you get a free PDF copy of Rings and Roses series sent to you.
Deadline for submission is on the 14th of February 2016. Let’s start writing!



Share This Post

Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

You may also like...


  1. Thanks for the opportunity to share, Tope 🙂 Looking forward to learning more on love on here too.

    1. says:

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Learnt a few things from you.
      Love doesn’t start and end with me and it Is acted out for someone’s benefit.
      God bless you babes. 🙂

  2. Adefunke says:

    aahn, me I will cry o, so bcos am not a writer now, am not entitled to Rings and Roses abi, OK, I no vex

    1. says:

      Lol. Funke please don’t cry o! Who said you can’t write? Even if it’s your own love story send it. You never know what can happen. 🙂

  3. This was a real and thought provoking post, Ifeoma. I especially liked the “love speak” part. This love thing is not beans, lol. But by the time this month is over I’m sure I’ll be thoroughly schooled on love.

    @Tope I just read chapter one of the Rings and Roses series. Very interesting. I believe it’s time for me to think up a short love story. 🙂

    1. says:

      @ thegracedmisfit… Thanks 🙂 Looking forward to reading your short story

    2. Hey @gracedmisfit. Thanks for reading 🙂 I know right, it’s a lot deeper than meets the eye. More lessons to come our way this week.

  4. I really really really love this!
    Mhen, the love the world shows is a “give me, give me, what can you do for me kind of love” and sadly if we Christians don’t get our minds renewed, we’d love that way too.
    Just recently God dealt with me on that…it wasn’t pretty to hear that I have to start thinking in line of “what can I give to him” but it was/is the truth and something i’m working on.

    That said, I loooove this (incase I haven’t said it before) and Tope, I’m excited at stuff that will be happening on the blog this month.

    1. says:

      Hey Frances! I’m also excited about it. I believe at the end of this month we would grow more in love with God and others. Especially now when we get so preoccupied and distracted with other things and forget what love truly is. Thanks for loving it babes. Looking forward to your article too:)

    2. Hey Frances 🙂 Thanks dear.

      Yeah, we r definitely standing against the tide on this one. We’ve been subconsciously taught for so long to see love as being “all about me”. Thank God for His grace to help us see differently.

  5. This article is thought provoking oh… love isn’t about me apparently. . Change of mindset is needed.. thanks Ify

Leave a Reply to Ify Halim Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *