Marriage is a unique journey. It is unique as no two persons are the same, and even more so because no two couples are the same. I find it interesting that no amount of books or advice can adequately prepare you for this journey. Yes, books have their place and advice is definitely important. A marriage is made up of mature believers who understand that it will take more than butterflies in their bellies to weather the seasons of life. They understand that while romance movies are fun, they live in a place called “real life”. They are aware that godly marriages are always targeted by many forces, which can become, with Gods help, ingredients for a strong marriage. Unconditional love, Forgiveness and selflessness are just a few of the core values that make a marriage beautiful. I have only little authority on this matter as I am only at the thresholds of marriage myself, but I bleive God can help our hearts to prepare for this divine institution. There are a lot of matters I consider important for marriage preparation but I will share a few.
As a woman I believe there are three disciples that must be cultivated; the discipline of continuous learning and that of words.
Discipline of prayer
Prayer is one of the most abused and misunderstood “concepts” in the body of Christ. I believe one of the primary roles of a woman is to be an intercessor. Intercession is almost an innate yet latent ability that every woman has.
Women are “feelers” this helps them to carry burdens and empathise. This part is also a key aspect of intercession. I believe it’s a woman’s responsibility to interceed for her home. Praying for her husband can have a tremendous effect on him. Who else sees his weaknesses like her? Who else can be empathetic with him like her? Intercession will also help improve the bond between husband and wife, if you don’t believe me, try it. Woman, you will settle more matters on your knees than you ever will by exchanging words with your husband or children, use your tongue wisely.
Proverbs 31:18 KJV, She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
Discipline of words
Words, words, words. Words are a conveyer of realities. Words are realities. May God help us understand the power of words. The discipline of words is related to that of prayer. Our words must be seasoned with Grace. They can only reflect what we have been soaked in. If we have been hanging around fear and anxiety our words would be so. If we have also been marinading in life, our words give us away. Now because of the demands placed on a wife and mum, things can get pretty spicy and heated up from time to time. But with words we can defuse arguments, clear the air and introduce peace. If you need to rant, do it in prayer. Now to do this we must cultivate a quiet heart. This particular topic is a study on its own, but who is the best teacher but the Holy Spirit Himself.
1 Peter 3:3 KJV, Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
Discipline of continuous learning
We should never stop learning, never stop growing. We must learn better ways of doing things always. Better ways of showing love, better ways of keeping the home or raising children. Most importantly, we must be a sponge around wise older women. How do they treat their husbands? How do they manage matters? We must realise that our lifetime is to short to gather wisdom from personal experiences, we must be a mosaic of wisdom. Indeed our gauge for wisdom is the word, but we must project into the future and prevent some mistakes by deciding to learn from that of others.
Titus 2:4 KJV, That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
“Older women” can only pour their wisdom into receptive younger women. Older women are women with a wealth of wisdom and experience, they may not always be elderly or much older than us, but because we desire wisdom, we search for it anywhere we can find it.
God will prepare us for this season, It is His story, we allow Him write it.
My name is Iyanuloluwa, I am lover of God and people. I love simplicity, movies and good garri.