Marriage,Relationship Talks

Iyanuloluwa: R.W.F.L; The steps to Marriage.

Yaay!  It’s my birthday today!!! I’m super happy. God has been good to me over the past 20 – plus years. I’m grateful to Him for everything He’s done. Join me in praising God. :).
Thank you! Love you guys!!

I have always been a “helpless romantic” until God helped my heart.

Before you roll your eyes, let me define who a helpless romantic is. I consider such a person as one who has a wild imagination of the thousands of ways he/she can find love.

Such a one might cry during a good love movie, believe there should be such a thing as a “true love” movement, knows within seconds where a relationship with the opposite sex can lead to.

This description has been heavily toned down to accommodate all shades of helpless romantic. My version of this “illness” ; I always had a crush for most of my teenage/early adult years. I practised my name and his surname, I avoided the person like a plague because I didn’t want him to know I liked him. I had short sessions where I acted that he had just asked me out and I was responding with all the drama I could muster (I sometimes cried real tears in such sessions) , I wrote songs about the person. I cried when I heard love songs and thought of the person. To those who think I was a crazy gal, you bet I was. To those who think this isn’t crazy enough, I suggest you seek help.

If you don’t know Jesus, I’m afraid being a helpless romantic is normal and will almost naturally become full fledged obsession. However can I just burst your precious bubble, this isn’t love. Feelings are great, they’re amazing and very important for out interactions as social beings. However, living on feelings alone is like wanting to live in la-la land (dream land… wishful thinking).

To every one waiting for that special one, I want to believe that you actually have more than a Sunday relationship with God.

Has God touched your heart?
Have you experienced Him?
Does He talk to you?
Do you gist with Him?
Do you know God and are you on a deliberate and intense journey of being fully lost in Him?

Sorry for the repetition, but this sort of relationship with God is the only one that can redefine every topic of life. Nominal Christianity is no better than any other religion. Now that we have a platform, we can talk.

I have nothing against with “waiting ” for God to bless us with a spouse. Every one has been in a waiting phase. However, we should be waiting on God for God Himself and allow Him bless us with what He thinks we need and in the season He desires.

My waiting period wasn’t so long, but considering the norm, it was. I wasn’t in my first relationship till my early 20’s. Waiting that long, I thought I was ready. I had delayed gratification, so I was now mature, or so I thought. I entered the relationship for all the wrong reasons and was never sure of God’s involvement in it. Even though, he was an amazing guy and we had clear boundaries we both agreed on, I never had peace.

I was still learning God’s voice, that was a deal breaker for me. My waiting continued. Now I met someone who I was certain was God’s best for me. Everything was right. However, I had to submit to those ahead of me who told me to hold on and pray again. It wasn’t a bad prospect, it was in fact a good one, by His standards.

But you know what?

He had a better plan, His plans are always better. He had someone who He designed for me. While I don’t believe there is just one being out there that “completes” you, I believe God is not just hooking up random believers with each other. He knows our design and is very deliberate in bringing man and woman together.


God always provides the best for His children, but His children don’t love or serve Him for what they can get, they serve Him for love and who He is. Can we just take our eyes off the thing we are waiting for and just wait on God? Nothing can ever satisfy the deepest longings like He will, so allow Him to pour Himself into you, fill all the nooks and crannies of your thirsty soul.

Let him ravish you with His love. He will stare at you with intense passion and set your heart ablaze, you will want nothing but Him. However, God will bless you with more, because you need some of these and just because He loves you. In this season, as in all seasons where you yield, you will find that you have been greatly blessed of God, the “waiting” will work in you patience and a true desire for God, amongst other virtues.

When we seek God and love Him, He blesses us. He blesses us because He enjoys how we have found contentment in Him alone. He also sees that you’re in a season where you can handle some blessings and just because He wants you to have a beautiful life.

Finding for me took some growing up. I had found what seemed right in my eyes, but God knew what I needed. For me to find what He had provided I had to be broken. My view had to be adjusted and it was painful. This happens by His mercy, because if I had resisted too much, He’d have allowed my have my way.

I was found by my fiancé and I also found in him (and keep finding), a man who complements me and is an instrument for my growth as a believer. In him I find an apostle of the vision God wrapped in my heart before I was even born. No good thing will He withhold. When God blesses us . . . sometimes it may be obvious. Other times it doesn’t seem obvious. Most times it may look like something not up to par, our hearts seem to echo; but I’ve loved you all my life, what is this?

I am believing that by now, with practice, one must have learnt the voice of God. We must also value the advice of mentors and those with more depth than us. God will lead you and when He leads you He gives strength to obey. I don’t want to sound like a kill-joy but this relationship if it is given by God, will also be an instrument for your perfection. Now you have found the blessing, whether its all you expected or nothing you expected, its time to love.

Love has been one of the most sorely misunderstood concepts in human history. I sometimes imagine love feeling like an outcast and sobbing in a corner because of all the false accusations and many imposters that parade themselves. This analogy is obviously imperfect because God is love and wouldn’t be sobbing in a corner. However, many people including Christian, don’t know what love is.

Let me burst your other bubble, love is what remains after the feelings go. Love is a choice you make everyday. Did Jesus feel like being persecuted and nailed to a cross, He didn’t? He, for a fleeting moment, wished the cup would pass, but quickly accepted the will of God.

I am sorry I’m being a little frank, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy your relationship but it provides a sturdy foundation upon which the relationship can be built. Love became redefined early on in my relationship. We obeyed God and the feelings came to join us. Because we were having a blast by growing in friendship, the feelings were only a welcome addition whenever they came.

Feelings come and go, but love never fails. Do I have anything against feelings? At all! But basing a relationship on feelings alone is like eating icing alone, everyday for the rest of your life. . . highway to jedi jedi.

Love involves doing special things for that person especially when you don’t feel like. Love is a verb y’all (1 Corinthians 13). Look forward to building a solid friendship with your woman/man. Trust God every step of the way and you’re good.

Enjoy life. . . enjoy life. Don’t sweat it. Laugh at your mistakes, keep growing. Do stuff. As you do you can feel the “boundaries” of God’s leading. And let’s show the world what godly relationships look like!

Have you ever been in any of the above stages? Or currently going through it? Just share your thoughts with me, would love to hear from you!

Bible Quote for the Day:
Ecclesiastes 3:11 KJV
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Random Quote:
“Relationship never dies a natural death. They are murdered by Ego, Attitude and Ignorance.”
Dave Barry.


My name is Iyanuloluwa, I am lover of God and people. I love simplicity, movies and good garri.

Have your love stories you want to share with us? Or an article you wrote on relationship or marriage? You could send it to my email



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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

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  1. Oladapo Omotosho says:

    Nice write up Lolu, keep it up. And happy birthday Tope. God bless you real good

    1. says:

      Thanks Dapo! Much love 🙂

  2. Lolu says:

    Thank you Dapo 🙂
    Happy birthday in arrears Tope! Blessings!

    1. says:

      Thanks Lolu:)

  3. Happy happy birthday in arrears Tope!
    God bless you bigly!

    And great article Iyanuloluwa…
    It’s not the butterflies in tummy stuff but real deal on love like only God can teach. Thanks

    1. says:

      Amen!! Thanks Frances 🙂 Much love

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