Loving The Wrong Person?

I wrote this a while back and decided to post it here today. Hope it helps someone out there. . .

There are times we say love is blind and we can’t help who we love. Well, love isn’t blind. We just choose to close our eyes to things…

You know the way you lie to yourself and make up excuses for the person? The little things you notice but try to cover up? The signals that came but your antenna failed to transmit and when the inevitable happens, you cry and feel the pain in your heart. That’s what happens with that guy we like that isn’t for us. We know in our heart but can’t help but like the bad boy and his swagga.

I often hear people say a guy will always change for that special girl and you want to be the reason he changes. You want him to be all that you dreamed…but he isn’t budging. Then you have to come to the sad realization that there’s someone else out there he would change for but it isn’t you…knowing he would never love you the way you love him or be that guy you hope for him to be.

Is there a way to stop this from happening?

A way to prevent your heart from going far? And when it does get too far…how to let go?

It’s when you decide to STOP.

Stop lying to yourself.

Stop pretending you don’t see through the pretense.

Just stop and realize what a gem you are and how you are of great value. Know your worth and that way you wouldn’t let anyone treat you below how you should be treated.

Prov 31 vs 10 (MSG) says ‘ A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.’

She’s worth far more than diamonds. . .
How you treat yourself is how a man would treat you. God loves you so much that He wouldn’t give you to a man who doesn’t know your worth or value. Who can’t appreciate you and love you the way you should be loved.

When He closes that door know a better one is going to be opened. God purposely shuts the door, when you are too weak to do it, ’cause He loves you so much and has better in store.

I found myself writing to heal from a broken heart sometime ago, being with a guy that wasn’t right for me and sort of made me his ‘side chick’ until I found out later on but it was still sort of hard to let go. This poem came from the heart… (I wrote this way back so don’t laugh o 🙂 )

I miss you , though I know I can’t have you
Why can’t I have you? You mean so much to me
The yearning in my heart for you is deep
The thought that I can’t have you causes me pain

Why can’t I have you? You mean so much to me
You belong to another that’s why, one I can’t contest with
Then why did I fall for you when I knew I couldn’t have you?
Must have been that macho-ism I saw when I met you and the fact that I didn’t know you were claimed

You belong to another that’s why, one I can’t contest with
And I watch you from afar as you are , knowing I can’t have you
I have to deal with the desire to call you
I have to deal with this pain in my heart

And I watch you from afar as you are, knowing I can’t have you
So I have to make a choice to stop loving you
Though my heart desires you I have to put a halt to it
So I will wait for a new dawn where hope arises for another love…

So I have to make a choice to stop loving you
To forget your laughter and the pain you caused me
Why did you let me fall for you? ‘Cause I had given the consent form to you
So now… I say good bye to you and our love…

Reality didn’t hit me immediately…but I had to take a stand to stop lying to myself. I couldn’t stop him lying to me, but I could stop deceiving myself and making excuses for him then getting hurt. Right now, I’m so happy that I let go.

So don’t sell yourself short ’cause you deserve so much more! You deserve the love of someone who has learnt to love God’s way. You may get tired of waiting for that guy or lady and want to jump into a relationship with anyone that comes your way. Please don’t.

I love what one of my readers said in a post(I begged God for a Husband), that any bobo who liked her would have to ask permission from her heavenly Father first. In other words, God has to approve that relationship. There’s someone out there for you, don’t even consider settling for less.

Luv u guys!

P.s When last did you win a soul for Christ?

♥ Bible Quote for the Day:
Psalm 25:5 (AMP), “Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.”

If you would like to contribute an article to the blog please send to my email, topeogunyinka@gmail.com

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topeogunyinka@gmail.com

Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages. Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life. She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

14 Comments

  1. Just coming out of this situation. Thank God I’m out though I wasted years and wouldn’t admit it.
    It feels good to be back to sanity.
    #peaceinthestorm

    • Thank God for you babes. About the wasted years… though it’s hard, don’t count everything for loss. I’m sure lessons were learnt and it would make you a better person. It is well. Much love sis 🙂

  2. Thank you so much and I am glad you got over guy. You deserve better.
    But I am have a question about this statements:
    “I often hear people say a guy will always change for that special girl and you want to be the reason he changes.” and “Then you have to come to the sad realization that there’s someone else out there he would change for but it isn’t you”

    Will a guy really change for that special girl? and if he does how genuine is the change? Or what happens after he gets the special girl?

    I rather a guy change because he wants to or because he is been touched by God. I know God can use anyone, but I am always careful/suspicious when a someone says he or she got born again because of them.

    • Thanks JK :). Hmm, nice question! It’s a general misconception. God is the one that makes a change. There are people you perceive have changed but in secret they may still be that way. So you’re right when you say a guy changes ’cause of God. 🙂

  3. Thanks again for another much needed post 🙂 I was blessed *wink wink. I remember coming out of my last relationship thinking-I’m God’s child, royalty sef . I deserve better. Much better. and to be honest it gets hard looking at all the guys asking or around you….temptation to settle hits you but you know in your inner bone that it won’t work out. E no easy. Thank God for his grace. I think the best option is to ask God to guard and keep your heart until the right person comes along.

    • Alos you welcome. 🙂 Yes o! All dem guys … like you rightly said we should let God guide us. The Bible tells us to guard our heart… I remember I told God to fill my heart with love for the person He has for me. If it’s not ‘the guy’ then I don’t want the love.

  4. “You deserve the love of someone who has learnt to love God’s way”.

    That phrase hit me nicely and lit a bulb in my spirit. We may know this but having someone remind us …is awesome.

    Thanks for writing . Love

    • You welcome. We need to remind ourselves once in a while 🙂

  5. Hmmmmm I’ve always said that it isn’t your responsibility to change a man; are you his mother? Abi you be God??? If you cannot accept what you see now,ie smoking, drinking excessively etc don’t think he would change. Thank God that you are not in that relationship anymore

    • Lol… that’s true. If we can’t accept any traits he has right now, we shouldn’t think we would change him later on. Change comes from the heart and it’s permanent… not temporal.
      Thanks 🙂

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