Is this it God? Is this how it ends?
The pain was unbearable. It wasn’t the physical pain but emotional. She thought of her parents. They were taking it so much harder than she had thought they would. Despite having spoken about it on different occasions and mentally prepared themselves for the inevitable event . . . It didn’t ease the pain. It didn’t make it easier for either them. But then why had she expected it to be any easier on them? Losing a child was never easy for any parent.
She closed her eyes. God, this is so hard. How do they get through this? Please don’t let their faith waver. Don’t let them lose hope in You. Don’t let them give up. She opened her eyes and her mind drifted to Daniel. He had rushed to see her at the hospital a few days back at her request. Her mother didn’t want any outsiders around them at such a moment but Mitchell had pleaded and insisted he had to know. She didn’t know why God had brought Daniel into her life at the latter stages but it wasn’t over yet. He was close to tears when he saw her and how frail she had become. She couldn’t eat much. She got tired and fell in and out of consciousness occasionally but they were able to talk a little.
She smiled as she thought of the new man Daniel had become. He had the light in his eyes again! Despite the pain of seeing her on the hospital bed, there was a joy in him that couldn’t be denied. He was willing, more than willing, to put his life in order. They spoke about his plans for the immediate future and his fears.
“Sometimes I wonder if I would fall back again into my old ways.”
“Don’t think that way. That’s just the devil trying to get you scared and doubt how much God can do for you. He wants you to feel that it’s by your own strength to live holy. Any-time you feel like you are close to losing it just go to God’s throne of grace and ask for grace. Don’t go fearfully or cowardly . . . Go boldly knowing fully well He wants to give it to you.”
Mitchell felt it a privilege to be used by God to bring about such a change. She could look at her life and choose to be angry at God for short-changing her and not letting her live a full life; just like her parents felt. To fall in love. To pray for rapture not to occur yet so she could get married and have sex. To have children. . . To see her children walk down the aisle and start their own journey. But she knew without a doubt that she did live life to the fullest irrespective of those pluses. ‘Cause that was what they were.
Mitchell felt the abundant life Jesus came to give didn’t just have to mean having all the riches in the world or having a perfect marriage and all you wanted in life. It first had to do with being right with God. Living a life that God was involved in ‘cause that was the surest way to live a full life. Just like Paul who went about the gospel without a wife and won a lot of souls for God. Like Jesus who left His riches to come and do His Father’s work. So she did enjoy her life and she hoped others would.
Please don’t say the story is depressing. Hope you were able to pick out one or two things from it.
I had a revelation about John 10:10 while writing an episode of SEPARATED.
A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life—life in all its fullness.
John 10:10 NCV
Life in all its fullness. Jesus came to give us life and not just eternal life with Him at the end of days but for us to enjoy life here as well. But you know What? This life Jesus promised isn’t waiting till you get married for it to be fulfilled. When you have a personal relationship with Him, your new life kicks off and begins to yield fruit.
Not to burst your bubble, but what about single men and women who went about doing great things for God and died in Christ? Would you say they didn’t have an abundant life or a fulfilling life?
“He must think about two things—pleasing his wife and pleasing the Lord. A woman who is not married or a girl who has never married is busy with the Lord’s work. She wants to be holy in body and spirit. But a married woman is busy with things of the world, as to how she can please her husband. I am saying this to help you, not to limit you. But I want you to live in the right way, to give yourselves fully to the Lord without concern for other things.”
1 Corinthians 7:34-35 NCV
Paul was content (and no, I’m not saying you shouldn’t desire to get married) in his state of singleness. He wanted to use all his time, strength, resources, heart – to serve God without distractions.
I remember when I was single. When its time to go for evangelism in church, I’m there and usually eager to go. When there’s a program I’m interested. I volunteered in an NGO to help out with kids.
Lol, let’s just say I don’t do as much now.
I’m in another season of my life. You can read the article I wrote about it here.
You desire to get married? Great! I’ve gotten emails and messages from people who feel sad that they aren’t married yet. My question to them is what are you doing with your now?
Are you spending time with God? Are you working for Him in your local church? My friend Frances Okoro, Author and blogger, is doing a lot and I thank God for her life. She’s serving God with her now while waiting for what He would do in the future.
Don’t put your life on hold. Grow in Him. After all, He’s your First Love. 🙂
P.s Pre-orders for my Novel Once Upon a First Love starts this Friday! You don’t know what the Novel is about? Click this link to find out: