Marriage Interview #1 “Marriage is a Black Market”

Hi guys! So I asked different married people the questions below to get their perspective on marriage so we all, (both single and married), can learn from it. Here it goes…

With Jimmy Ogedengbe

1) What’s marriage really about? Is there anything like the marriage of our dreams?

Marriage is union, communion and fellowship between two parties that have agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. I have always believed marriage is all about companionship. As the bible says “It is not good that a man be alone….”
Everyone has a dream marriage where everything is rosy and all sweet. I did too. The reality sometimes differs from our expectation and hence we must be willing to adjust our “dream” marriage to our present reality.

2) Before you got married what were your expectations on marriage and what did you learn afterwards?

One of my expectations on marriage was to have a marriage with zero frictions having grown to witness lots of frictions in my parent’s relationship. What I get so quickly is that, each day had its own frictions. What my wife and I have learnt to do is to oil our relationship such that those frictions don’t wear out our relationship.

3) How did you know your wife was the lady for you? What are the things to look out for in a woman when considering marriage?

One major reason I married my wife was that we had been friends and I had known her for about 10 years up to the time we got married. It was unthinkable to trade our friendship for no strong reasons. When I prayed about it, I had peace.
I would advise that, as a Child of God, marry one who loves God. If you do, your relationship will most likely work. In loving and pleasing God, your hubby will always love you.

4) How was your first year of marriage? Was it as difficult as people claim it to be?

The First one year wasn’t so bad yet wasn’t all rosy. One important lesson you would learn in the first one year of your marriage is that the person you married is not actually same you courted. We had our challenges ranging from as little as where to drop shoes, tidying up our bed to weightier issues like how to adjust praying times to suit each other’s schedule and managing to have personal prayer time.

5) So far, what lessons have your learnt in marriage?

It takes two to tangle.


The lovely couple

6) How can husbands build a wonderful relationship with their wife’s family and should they handle the ‘mother-wife’ conflict?

We didn’t have challenges around mother-wife conflict perhaps because of the distance between the north and the south. As a consequence and being a terrible caller myself, I can’t say I have the best of relationship with my wife’s family. If you would show respect and love to any people, they will reciprocate in like manner. Most importantly never make them feel they lost their daughter to you.

7) What has been your challenges so far and how did you get past it? (if you have)

The fact that we were friends before we got married and classmates back in the university meant that transiting in husband and wife with resultant expectants was a big challenge. We argued a lot about how things should and ought to be. But you see those arguments made us stronger and reach compromises on case by case basis.

8) Is it important to ask God concerning the person to marry?

It is quite critical to ask God concerning whom to marry. You may think you know another person but no one really knows. As my pastor puts it, marriage is a black market. You don’t really know what you are getting into until you are in. And as a believer once you are in, you are in. This is why it is important to ask God who knows all. He knows you, your partner and who best compliments you.

9) What steps should men take to prepare for marriage? What would you advise those who are still waiting for that woman to marry?

I always advise that you the best person you can be. If you are a good and loving person yourself, then you would naturally attract yourself. Ask God. You can never miss it if you do. Marriage is God’s idea and so if you must get it right then we must go back to Him, the Author.

10) Any last words on marriage generally?

Your marriage would be what you make of it. Even when God shows you who to marry, the onus is still on you to make it work.

So that’s it guys! If you have questions you could leave them on the comment section. But my question for us all this morning is, what is your own expectation on marriage?

Bible Quote for the Day:
Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition ( definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.
Philippians 4:7 AMP

*His lovely wife sent me this picture on WhatsApp as her own contribution 🙂 #Teamwork


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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages. Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life. She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.


  1. Read the picture sent from the wife and I am just thinking, the same kind of never-do-apart relationship we have with God is what He wants us to have with our spouses in marriage.

    • Absolutely Frances. That’s why God hates divorce.
      Thanks for your comment babes.

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