Hi guys… hope you’ve been enjoying the relationship and marriage theme thus far.
The marriage interview series just keeps getting better! If you missed the first one check here.
Today’s interviewee is a wonderful woman of God who inspires people with her writing. You’re going to get A LOT from my interview with her.
Let’s get started…
Marriage Interview with Mrs. Eziaha Olojo
1. What’s marriage really about? Is there anything like the marriage of our dreams?
Marriage is having someone with whom you can have guilt free, heaven shaking, mind-blowing, God-endorsed sex with.
OK serious now,
Marriage is dying!!! Dying to self. That’s the way I see it, 3years in.
Yup. I believe there is a marriage of your dreams. I also believe that you have to put in the HARD work and maybe a lot of tears first before we get to the dream part. Personally I’m not there yet, but we are working hard on it. I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out but I’m thankful for the stories of couples who have gone ahead and are not holding back as they share the challenges and victories. I’m talking people like Dave and Joyce Meyer, Heather Lindsey and hubby and Lisa and John Bevere. They have been a huge part of my journey just leaning into their ministry and learning from their mistakes. Good thing is, we are two believers who LOVE God and each other very deeply and are determined to not just have an OK marriage but to ENJOY a thriving marriage. So this period is for WORK so that we can get really deep roots and make a beautiful tree come alive.
I also love Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s definition. She led me to Christ. Marriage is two forgivers living together.
2. Before you got married what were your expectations on marriage and what did you learn afterwards?
I thought yes the road would have some bumps but for most times, we will be deliriously happy.
And we were.
And still are.
I thought we would have sex everyday (hey, we abstained during courtship sooooooooo) and never quarrel ‘cause I would submit and he would love easily. But some reality kicked in when I realised that I had put my hubs on the highest pedestal ever and when he fell just a teeny weeny bit short, I would be soooo disappointed and react in crazy ways. Submit for WHAT??? Lol
Now, I have come to the sobering realisation that my husband, like me, is NOT perfect so I have to give some wiggle-room for mistakes, teach, learn, submit, calm down, apologise, forgive again, etc. All these require a willing heart and God’s help. We got both so we are doing well and getting betterer and betterer at it.
3. How did you know your husband was the guy for you? What are the things to look out for in a man when considering marriage?
I always had a list.
The list was inspired by God which I wrote when I was 16. Sometime into courting, I remembered the list and I checked it. My then bf ticked all the boxes. It was scary. But of course, the list was not the koko.
The peace and conviction I felt in my spirit were the koko. He was born again indeed, loved God, loved me and was intelligent and super generous. Also had a good reputation. Other qualities on the list were some kinda confirmation or endorsement of what I already knew.
I’ll say first off, look out for a man that LOVES God indeed. That’s the foundation. That’s the ‘law of medes and perses which cannot be shaken’. If he really loves God, you can build from there because God will keep helping him put his life together.
Also a man with purpose. A clear sense of purpose. Not a loafer. I’ll say let him have a job and be able to put you over and above family. Very important. I’ll also say love the ‘container’. At least feel something that we can build on. Even if it is just with the eye of the spirit. You really have to be discerning ooo as a woman. I’ll also say let the man respect you and your body. No pressure for sex please. That’s not just a BOY but also a thief!!!
I know society is big on money. Well, except God has absolutely destined you to marry a money bag, for the most times, couples will grow together, especially in our generation today. If you see that he is diligent now with his job, that’s a good sign.
4. How was your first year of marriage? Was it as difficult as people claim it to be?
My first year was FINE. The real challenge came in my second year after I got pregnant and then had a baby. I guess I wasn’t ready for all the changes that the journey through me so it shook the very foundations of our marriage. Not to a point of divorce. Nah. We both know we are in it for the EVER. But like PK said once, stick through those ‘reality stages’ and then afterwards you begin to enjoy the rewards. Moreover, we both love God and have him as our foundation so this works.
5. So far, what lessons have your learnt in marriage?
All listed above.
One more thing has to be something I picked from Lisa Bevere. Build your marriage according to your purpose, your season and your passions. There is no ‘one size fits all’ counsel. Just be sure to have the right foundation which is God and two people who absolutely LOVE God!!!
Practical example: The way to every man’s heart is NOT food. Some men don’t care. Don’t kill yourself. Find what the way to YOUR OWN husband’s heart is and work it.
6. How can wives/ wives-to-be build a wonderful relationship with their mother-in-laws?
I’m the wrong person to ask. My mamas-in-law (I have two) are absolutely stress-free. They respect our privacy and boundaries and are just awesome!!! But what I would say is just marry a man who puts you FIRST over and above his family. That way, when there are ‘battles’ to fight, he would stand in the battlefield and make sure not even the breeze from an arrow’s dart touches you. So, marry well. Not a mommy’s boy. Eeeew!!!
7. What have been your challenges so far and how did you get past them? (if you have).
Submission. I’m too strong willed. I’m desperately working on it. God taught me that He can’t even exalt me if I have not learnt to truly submit, honour and esteem my husband, imperfect as (I think) he is. I have absolutely awesome mentors in that field so I’m at their feet, learning from them how to submit, not just in words but with my whole heart.
Pastor Mildred, Joyce Meyer, Priscilla Shirer, Lisa Bevere, Christine Caine, Heather Lindsey and most recently Debola Deji-Kurunmi. I monitor them very closely and see how they relate with their husbands especially Joyce, Lisa and Chris who have very strong personalities like mine.
Frankly it is getting easier. Hubs is pretty easy to get along with, especially when I see him as human and fallible. Plus he LOVES God and doesn’t even try to stifle me at all. Plus, gosh too many people, young ladies look up to me. Our obedience is usually tied to a lot sooooo…
8. Is it important to ask God concerning the person to marry?
With all I’ve written above? Hmm, marry on your own and witness living hell. I’ve seen too many mistakes and consequences. Don’t even try to do this alone. Carry God. Don’t just stop at His good or acceptable. Aim to marry HIS PERFECT will for you.
9. What would you advise those who are still waiting for that man or woman to settle down with?
Be patient hon. And Trust Jesus. A wrong choice can kill you. Literally. A right choice can absolutely change your life for the best!!! Chase after Jesus, trust Him to sort you out. He will bring to you a man also chasing after Jesus and then together, both of you can make this beautiful journey serving Jesus together.
Please leave your comments and questions in the comment section. Thanks!
♥ Bible Quote for the Day:
Ecclesiastes 3:11 KJV
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
I’m just a FAB Chick loving life and Serving Jesus
Wife. Mom. Christian Blogger @ eziaha.com. Apostle in the Marketplace. Heaven bound and taking as much people as I can with me.
Should a woman propose to a man? Join us her on Friday 22nd of April from 11 am as we talk about it. See you then!