Rings and Roses Valentine Series
When Does Love Fade?
Segun and Lola
Segun placed his head in his palms. How could he be so stupid as to go as far as hitting a woman? He was pathetic! He kept playing the scene over and over again in his head.
He had tried moving close to her, but she had scrambled to her feet and stood at the other side of the chair, shouting at him to stay away from her.
“Segun you hit me?!” She had placed a palm on her left cheek as hot tears of anger and disbelief rolled down her cheeks.
“You are a monster! You this stupid good for nothing man! You are . . .” She kept quiet, as if she considering her words so as not to provoke a more serious beating. “What did I do? What have I done wrong? Go to work to get money for all of us, to put food on the table!”
Her hair was scattered and mucus had come down her nose.
“This marriage is a farce . . . I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t love you…”
“I don’t love you . . . don’t love you . . . This marriage is a farce . . . is a farce . . .” Those words kept echoing in his ears. He looked up only to make eye contact with Lola’s smiling face on the day of their wedding. He studied the picture; her smile looked forced, like it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Had he been a fool for that long? Not noticing how she was? How she really felt about him?
Segun rested his back and stared at the white ceiling. His phone suddenly rang and he saw his sister’s name appear on the caller ID. He picked it up when it was close to ending.
“Brother Segun ka san, shey everything wa alright? Mum said she has been calling you for awhile and you aren’t answering.”
Segun rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Tell mum I’m okay. Just been busy with some things.”
“Oh okay . . . hold on for her.”
Segun squeezed his face knowing fully well what was coming next and she didn’t disappoint. After all her rantings he apologized. “O da . . . you should come to the house now please. I need to speak with you.”
Segun didn’t feel like going out but he told her he would be there in the next twenty minutes depending on traffic.
Seating in front of her parents now, she felt like a school girl who was getting ready to be punished, with her mother’s icicle stares shooting daggers at her.
“What happened?” her father simply asked. Segun had been by their house and told them everything that had happened, at least his own side of the story.
Lola wrung her hands, nervous about all she would have to tell him. “Daddy it’s been hard for me . . . I don’t know what he told you, but we have been having problems.”
“Why won’t you have problems,” her mother interjected, “Shebi I told you if you ever came here to complain you would regret it?”
Lola had stilled herself immediately her mother had begun talking; preparing herself for whatever blows she was going to give to her.
Her father looked at her and she kept whatever else she wanted to say to herself.
He continued, “I want to hear your own story, I’m waiting.”
Lola looked at her mother, she looked ready to pounce. “Daddy, the truth of the matter is we had no time to get to know each other before we got married-“
“But you knew him well enough to get into his bed,” Her mother interrupted once again.
Lola inwardly rolled her eyes, knowing now how Miriam felt whenever she kept interrupting her. Her dad looked at her mother and she looked away, clearly annoyed she couldn’t have her say on the matter. She got up and walked out of the living room.
Lola continued, “We just had to get married based on the circumstances and now . . . now I can’t cope with the kind of person he is. There’s no love in our marriage, we’re just co-habiting!”
Her dad remained silent for a few seconds, sighed, and then spoke. “No marriage is rosy Lola, that’s one thing you need to understand. Marriage is like roses; they have their good and rough times. There’s work; you have to work on understanding each other,” he said, laying emphasis on the word work. Lola thought of her mother and tried to imagine how much work her father had to put up with her. She raised her hand to her mouth and hid a chuckle.
“You must have liked Segun at one point in time for you to agree to go out with him and follow him to bed . . . just because things didn’t go the way you wanted doesn’t mean you should back down.”
Lola cut in at that point. “But daddy he doesn’t understand anything about me, he doesn’t help me out with anything at home, he doesn’t try to know.”
Her father interjected at that point, “Do you understand him? Lola it’s both ways, you should know that.”
Lola couldn’t continue looking like the bad guy in the whole situation. She then told her father about the slap . . .
Have you ever gotten to a point where you just don’t feel love for a person? As in, it just doesn’t come to you to love the person. When does love fade? When do we close the door to a relationship when the love fades away? I was browsing when I stumbled upon something about love; is it passion or promise? Do we continue to love because the passion is still there or because we made a promise to love in the vows taken during marriage.
There are a lot of people and different personalities. If we don’t learn to understand each-other when in a relationship, then there would be lots of issues. Being in a relationship takes a lot of hard work but being in a marriage takes much more work. If you’re with a spouse that makes it difficult for you to love, you still have an obligation to love. If your staying with someone who doesn’t help you with house-chores or whatever you would need help with, you can’t stop loving the person. Your decision to love is solely up to you and not the responsibility of the other person. If he or she doesn’t love, then it doesn’t mean YOU shouldn’t love as well.
People change. You can never fully know someone and you have to give room for whatever misbehaviour or betrayal that may come. Remember Hosea and his wife, Gomer, in the bible? Their love relationship was one-sided. Hosea had to do most of the loving despite Gomer’s nonchalant attitude about their marriage. He had to endure a lot of things. If you were in such a situation, would your love for that person wear out or would you keep loving? Hosea saw his vow, not just as words but as what it truly was, a VOW. When God tells us to love, He doesn’t make us just say it but to vow to love everyone, no matter how unlovable they are.
Ever felt that way before? That you just don’t love someone anymore and don’t know what to do about it? Please share in the comment section below and let’s talk about it.
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