Joshua knew there was nothing he could have done better. She was gone. She was never coming back to him, no matter how much he wished her back. His father had taught him long ago, although with so much force and brutality, that a man was never to weep. It was a show of weakness. That was why, even now, he would never shed a tear over her. Six months had already gone by.
He looked around the empty room. The bed bare and the opened wardrobe empty of it’s occupants. His eye caught on to the small Ben-Ten action figure on the floor. Joshua bent and picked it up. There was nothing left for him now. She had taken their children along with her.
“I don’t want them to be like you! You’re a heartless beast! You’re worse than the devil . . .” She had spat those words at him. Those words always found a way in piercing his stony heart.
Breathing heavily, he briskly walked out of the room. He took the stairs two at a time and ran out of the house. He breathed in the cold air as the drops of rain came on him heavily.
“I can’t do this . . . I can’t do this.” He raked his hand through his hair and breathed out; tasting a salty mix of water. He couldn’t continue to let the memories accost him. All his life he had engaged in a battle of his past . . . The same past that had moulded him into the man he had become.
His father raised his hand up and Joshua closed his eyes as the cold hand smacked him hard on the face. “You’re a stupid boy! I said don’t cry! You can never survive in this life when you’re weak. You can never survive in this life when you’re not brave. You would only become useless . . .”
Joshua closed his eyes as the thought haunted him. Twenty-two years after, the dire advice of his father still spoke to him and was his guide. He turned and walked back into the house. Closing the door behind him, he sank to the floor and rested his head on the door.
It had all started when his mother had passed on. He had just turned ten and he would never have guessed his life would take a sudden turn. Whenever he thought of his mother it only brought pain to him. She had died from a fall; not recovering from the blow to her head.
“You can only survive in this life with fighting back. Life would give you troubles. You can only overcome through fighting back without any emotion.”
So Joshua had fought and had been fighting for years. He had learned to never show compassion, in this life no one cared about the other person. Everyone wanted what was best for themselves. No one cared. It was only after he had met his wife, Sarah, that he had known another type of life. A life that was filled with joy, peace and love. A life only God can give you.
The life he had known all his life now battled with the life his wife had introduced to him. It was another life entirely. It was one he wanted, but he had fought it . . . Thinking it couldn’t be real. That it would still disappoint him. His wife was now gone.
He needed a second chance. He needed another opportunity. He wanted the life his family had brought him . . . He wanted them back.
Life has a way of presenting various challenges, some we never want to have. We may feel the only way to deal with it is our own way. But if we do that we would never be able to overcome. We may have gone through various things in our past that might have moulded us into someone bitter and angry at the world. There is another way.
John 14 verse 6, KJV ‘Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.’
God has told us, in this world we would face various troubles, but we shouldn’t be afraid ‘cause He has overcome the world.
John 16 verse 33, MSG ‘I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.’
You may feel there is nothing left to be offered to you in this life, that there’s no way out of the difficulties in life, I just want to tell you to come to God and surrender your life to Him. Only with Him, can your life be better ‘cause it’s what God has in mind for you and He never fails!
John 1o verse 10, MSG ‘A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.’