It was a lazy Saturday morning for her. She just wanted to remain on her bed all day. The sounds of the rain hitting the roof and the accompanying coolness made the idea more alluring. But she had to be at the office later that morning to finalize a few things for the opening of the consulting company. She was excited. The dream of having her own company was finally coming true. It had taken a lot from her and made her shed tears when things weren’t going her way, but God had always been faithful.
Adesewa knew God had sent Kobina her way for a reason. Could it be even more of business partners and probably life-partners? She shook her head and chided herself for condoning the silly thought.
“Life-partners indeed!” She still stuck to her decision not to get her hopes up and fall for a guy if he wasn’t what God wanted for her. She was getting too old for all the jumping up-and-down from one relationship to another.
Adesewa yawned and closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again. Then she sang out a song that was playing in her heart, “Demons tremble at Your presence . . . What a mighty God I serve . . . Glory glory hallelujah , everything written about You is great.”
She sang more of the song and then uttered a prayer and picked up her bible from her bedside table. She was trying to do the bible reading in a year. The group she belonged to had brought up the challenge to read the whole bible in a year and, though the task had seem daunting at first, Adesewa was determined to see it through by God’s grace. She no longer wanted to remain a baby Christian.
In the past, each time she tried reading her bible with the determination to grow, she would start out alright and later fall short. It wasn’t going to happen again. She had made a serious deal with God to not let things fall in place for her if she began lagging behind in her bible study. It was a serious deal to make, but if she wanted to get serious with God she had to purposely do something about it; even if it meant she would lose out on some things. God was important to her and He needed to be out first in her life.
That morning she was going through the book of Romans. She found herself absorbed with how Paul was so much on fire for God. He taught on sin and how a sinner should receive righteousness not because he or she worked for it but through faith in God. Adesewa knew God had long since forgiven her for all the wrong she had done months ago and had taken her into His arms. She was grateful, but she sometimes felt guilt knowing her actions had inevitably wrecked a home and caused a small girl (Ulunma) to suffer the probable pains of a broken home. No child deserved to grow up without both parents irrespective of whatever mistakes Daniel and Efe made.
Not all is lost.
Adesewa shifted on the bed. She was used to hearing God this way. Dropping answers on her heart to things she was bothered about. Encouraging her when she needed it. This was what having a relationship with God was all about.
Yes, not all was lost but restoration seemed like something impossible.
Faith comes by hearing, and hearing my Word.
She sighed. “Forgive me for my lack of faith God. I know You can do all things.” She shook her head at her silliness. Not too long ago she had just read about faith and yet she found herself lacking it.
What do I need to do God? The need to call Efe was strong in her heart, but she had no idea how she was going to do it.
I will lead you.
“Yes, God lead me. I know you can. But I’m just afraid of what she might say. She might take it the wrong way and lash out or do something worse.”
Fear not for I am with you.
Keep praying for them.
Adesewa nodded and took courage in God’s word spoken to her heart. She would do as He said and keep praying . . . What couldn’t prayer do if all else was lost from human perspective?
Efe watched Pamela as she dressed up. She had been acting strange all week; going in and out of mood-swings and being cranky. Efe knew it wasn’t that her room-mate was having menstrual cramps or anything.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Efe asked again.
“I’m fine jor. It’s just that I have to meet up with my father soon and I just have a weird feeling about everything. Him and all his impromptu meetings. Each-time I go to see him I end up getting annoyed or crying. Today, I’m just not in the mood for all that.”
“Did you pray about the meeting this morning?”
Her room-mate shook her head. “I forgot.”
Efe sat up on her bed. “Okay, we can pray now. It’s not too late.”
Pamela shrugged and came over to Efe’s bed and sat down. “Lord, we thank you for your daughter. Even as she’s going out now to meet with her dad I pray that you make their meeting a pleasant one and one to remember. Father, Pamela isn’t so much on good terms with her father. Please let this meeting be the first of wonderful times to come, in Jesus name we pray, Amen.”
“Amen,” Pamela repeated. “Thanks. I really hope God answers your prayer.”
Efe nodded. “He will. Let me know how it goes.”
“Sure.” She picked up her bag and went out of the room, leaving Efe all alone in the apartment. She wondered what she was going to do today. At first, she had planned for Pamela and herself to do a bit of sight-seeing but that plan had gone south. She got off the bed to the living-room. There was light and there was food.
Maybe I would just watch a movie.
Or read your bible. . .
Efe wasn’t interested in reading her bible these days. Lately, what had been coming to mind was forgiveness and not bearing grudges. She knew God wanted her to forgive but she wasn’t ready. Daniel had never even apologized to her. How could she forgive someone who felt all he did was right and she was the wrong one? Yes, she had made her mistakes but he had as well. Why was she the one that had to bear the cross alone?
I bore the cross for you and I didn’t do anything wrong.
“God that’s different. You are God. . . Not man like us. And asides that I’m not like you. It’s hard for me.”
My Grace is sufficient for you. Love as I love. My grace is ever available to you.
“God I will read my bible after I watch the movie.”
As soon as Efe got out of her bed the power supply suddenly went out. She sighed. “Fine God. I will read my bible now.”
“I don’t love your mother anymore. I don’t feel anything for her.”
Pamela stared at him. She had never felt so much hatred for anyone in her life. She was close to despising him. She watched as he raised his hand to his beard and played with it casually, like what he had just said didn’t mean much to him.
“Daddy how is that possible? How can you say that? Y- you must still care about her.”
“Now don’t get me wrong, I do care about the woman who had beautiful children for me, but love? Sweetie that ended a long time ago. In as much as I may try to feel that way again . . . I can’t. I don’t want to. I’m not interested.”
Pamela willed for the tears not to come. Her father didn’t know how much his words were hurting her. Did he think she wanted to hear him speak of her mother in such manner? Was that why he ask her over for lunch?
“But daddy, I thought you guys loved each-other back in the days? What happened to that love? Why would you just give up? I have distant memories of the both of you dancing together to all those old-school music you guys usually listened to. I remember how the both of you tease each-other. When did it go wrong?”
He shrugged. “That is what I don’t know.” He relaxed his back on his seat and shook his head that was sprouting a few grays. “Life happens, and when it does you either give in to it’s demands or you give up. That’s why I want the best for you Pamela. Give up this useless thought of being a model and practice law for goodness sake! I didn’t spend all that money for you to hand me your certificate and parade half-naked for men old enough to be your father ogling you or those useless boys that have no sense to approach you.
“You studied a respectable course. You must be a respectable woman. I didn’t get you into that oil company to be a good for nothing secretary. You should have gone for the position that suits you better.”
“I told you they said that position was not available again-”
“If you lie to me again I will slap you!”
Pamela looked away from him and folded her arms. She knew fully well how hard his slaps were. She was tired of him saying the same thing over and over again. She had done all he wanted her to do; study and get a degree. She wasn’t interested in pursuing a career in law. She just wanted her freedom. She wanted to be who she wanted to be without the influence of her father.
“Pamela don’t be stubborn.” The tone of his voice warned her not to anger him the more that afternoon or he would take good of his threat and live a mark on her right cheek.
“I’ve heard dad.” But I’m so not doing it! She checked the time on her watch. She had to meet up with Rex within the next hour. She was going to make it in life. . . with or without her father’s support.
She turned off the TV with the remote and popped another bar of chocolate into her mouth. The romantic movie she had just watched made her wonder how anyone thought love alone was enough to get through any problem in life. Movies just seemed to portray that lie over and over again and the worst thing was people like her kept buying it everyday.
Efe was a living example that it was all a lie.
Was it so hard in this day and age to find a man who loved her as much or even more than she loved him?
She thought about Amanze and allowed herself smile a little and imagine how it would be like to be with a man like him. She admitted that he was caring and showed more interest in her that she sometimes found annoying. But he seemed like the real deal. He might not even hurt her like how Daniel did.
Her mind travelled back to when Daniel asked her to leave his house. Daniel had walked out of the room without a word. She had sat on the floor for what seemed to be hours. . . Her knees up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs. She cried. . . Tears had come harder than when she heard news of her mother’s passing.
Her life went like a flash before her. How she and Daniel had started out as friends. How he treated her as his baby sister and how she harboured her secret crush on him that later became obvious. How he travelled to London for university and left her missing him. They would call and text eachother once in awhile, but it was nothing serious. When he came back and fell hard for Adesewa. What Efe had done that night by dressing up seductively and waking him up at night to make love. . .
Efe had rose to her feet and walked slowly to their bedroom. Her eyes looked around the room until they came upon her suitcase. She wiped the snort from her nose as she packed away her things. Her eyes sore from having cried too much. She possibly couldn’t pack away everything so she packed what were most important to her; clothes, shoes, underwear. For a moment she felt like leaving her bible there but she placed it in her bag as well.
When she walked out of the room Daniel was seating on a couch. He rose to his feet.
“I’ll drop you off at the park so you can board a bus. It’s still early. You should make it back to Ibadan in 3 hours max. . . considering traffic. ”
Efe shook her head. “I’ll go myself.”
He sighed. “Come on Efe. The least I can do is drop you off.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t. The least you could have done was have the courage not to marry me…”
Looking at it now, Efe knew she was mostly at fault for what happened to her. Infact she deseved it. But it was high time she let go of the past. She got off the couch and went to the bedroom. She stared at her wedding rings on her fourth finger. They still looked new. . .beautiful. Without giving much thought to it again she pulled them out and tossed them in her jewellery box. The action made her feel lighter all of a sudden; like she had been carrying a heavy load.
It was time she finally let go… it was time she finally gave herself a chance to love.
Tears filled her eyes. “God I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did what I did. Please help me.”
Embrace My Love.
Even in your mistakes My will would be done. Nothing takes Me by surprise. All would work out for your good only if you love me.
Efe sniffed. “Even in all my mistakes you still have a purpose for my life? I don’t even care if it doesn’t include Daniel. I’m just tired of it all.”
Embrace My Love.
He looked at her. He couldn’t help it. There was this peace and joy around her that could not be mistaken. And then there was a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. It was breathtaking. Everyday she was growing, she was far from perfection but she was on the journey, as he was as well.
He thanked God for her life. He couldn’t have asked for a better wife. A lover, friend and would someday be the mother to his children. Hopefully, it would be someday soon. He could just imagine how beautiful his baby girl would look like . . . a miniature Funlola.
John smiled and watched as Funlola finished with her exercise and saw sweat trickle down her back. She strode to his side in tired steps.
“Baby I see you staring at me. Unlike all those times you resisted me. You try o! Thank God for your life!”
John chuckled. “Abi nau…. you wanted to cause katakata for me with your beauty.”
“You that you were playing hard to get.” She teased.
He pulled her on his laps and pressed his nose against her wine-colored hair; taking in her smell. He had asked her to leave the color of her weave-on alone though many women in church looked at her disapprovingly.
She was his wife. Not theirs. And as long as it wasn’t a sin against God why were they making an issue out of it? Mostly, they were using it to identify her with her old life. The life she dropped at the feet of the cross months ago. Didn’t they know her outward appearance was not her heart and that was what God was looking at? She dressed well… covered parts of her body that should be covered. So what was the problem?
He jerked away from her.
“Huh? What happened?”
“I’ve been calling you since nau. Were you sleeping?”
“Sorry babe, just a lot on my mind. What’s up?”
“I’m worried about Efe. She keeps coming to my mind.”
“I’m worried about Daniel as well. He’s not doing too good. Aunty Obasi called me the other day and told me Uncle Felix told Daniel to never set foot in his house again. It’s just pathetic.”
Funlola nodded. “I agree with you. Or do you think Adesewa jazzed him? Could it be that’s what happened?”
Adesewa? Jazz? “Babe I don’t think that’s the case. It’s all Daniel’s doing.”
“I thought he was a Christian. What kind of mistake is that?”
John smiled at Funlola’s naivety. “Christians make mistakes too baby. Efe made a mistake as well. I have made mistakes too. But at the end of the day it’s what we do about the mistakes that matter. Let’s keep praying for them. Anytime Efe comes to heart. . . Pray for her.”
“Oya go and have your bath.”
Funlola got off his lap immediately. “Ahan! Am I smelling?”
John nodded then shook his head.
Funlola frowned. “Is it yes or no?”
“I’m not too sure. I would need to inspect.”
Understanding dawned on Funlola and she smiled. “You’re a very naughty PJ. Who has corrupted you?”
John burst out in laughter and led her to their room.
Life happens, and when it does you either give in to it’s demands or you give up.
Pamela could not agree more with her father in that. She rose from the bed and wrapped the bedsheets around her. She wasn’t going to give up on her dreams. Never!
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♡ Quote for the Day:
God is using the difficulties of the here and now to transform you, that is, to rescue you from you. And because he loves you, he will willingly interrupt or compromise your momentary happiness in order to accomplish one more step in the process of rescue and transformation, which he is unshakably committed to.
Paul David Tripp, What Did You Expect?: Redeeming The Realities Of Marriage
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