God's Love/Love

That Love Relationship with Yourself: Why Don’t I Feel Loved?


Hi guys! I wrote this few weeks ago and I hope it helps whoever feels this way as well. God bless you.

There are times I just don’t feel loved . . .

As I write this I’m trying to let go of all my emotions and just write . . . Why can’t I believe that God loves me? Why don’t I love myself? What does it truly mean to love myself the way God wants me to? Why don’t I feel loved? I have come to realize that no matter how many articles or self-help books I read, I won’t love myself unless I know how God feels about me. The insecurities and how much I don’t value myself is proof of how much I don’t realize how much God loves me. I know. But how then can I be sure of God’s love for me? It’s not just about someone telling me ‘God loves you’ when I don’t feel loved. Why is it so hard to not believe God loves me and He values me?

Sometimes I find myself depressed and feeling I’m not good enough. I know what the bible says but why don’t I accept it? Sometimes I just want God to tell me ‘Tope I love you.’ I guess I feel God’s love is a general thing and not an individual thing. Does that make me selfish to want to know if God personally loves me and cares about me? I hope not. But then my eyes gradually opened to certain things I never really sat to think about. It’s all based on my FEELINGS. It dawned on me that, what I’m basing God’s love for me on… is feelings. I feel. I feel. I feel. I realise now that it’s wrong. Not that it’s bad for me to feel loved, but on days that I don’t feel it does that mean God loves me less? Or He doesn’t love me at all?

I have to align my thoughts with the word of God ‘cause that’s where it all started from . . . My thoughts! If I start to think that I’m not loved then I begin to feel not loved. But then what does God say? Romans 8: 28-31 summarises that nothing can separate me from the love of God. The bible says God has loved me with an everlasting love. His word is yea and amen. His word is what would not pass away even if all else passes away and His word says that He loves me! Me! *smiles* Honestly, I have joy in my heart even as I have come to this realization. I didn’t write this article immediately, I had to pause and think and reflect and read and research. I really wanted to understand what my feelings had to do with it and why I was so down.

We can’t fully trust our emotions ‘cause, as I have learnt, it doesn’t always align with the word of God and what God says about me. I can trust in the word of God. So how do I then love myself? I was reading a book by Bob Gass, Forgetting your Past, and I came across something profound. Real change can’t begin until you first believe that God loves you as you are; otherwise you’ll just keep trying to change yourself in a vain attempt to earn His love and approval. The problem with that is, you already have it – you just don’t know it!
You can’t receive God’s correction properly until you have a revelation of His love for you. Otherwise you’ll only see His disapproval of your actions as disapproval of you.

God already loves me as I am despite the fact that He knows all my frailties and faults and issues. He loves me despite all of them. And with that I can begin to love myself as I am and follow His leading as He works on changing me, in love, into all He wants me to be. I’m really glad with this knowing and I believe there would surely be a turn around in my life. I’m free to live life knowing I’m truly loved by God. Awesome! I’m looking forward to what the future would bring and a newer walk in my relationship with God and with others. My hope is for others who feel the same way to accept, like I’ve done, how much God loves you and keep on believing it. Even on days where you don’t feel it and can’t seem to see it. Trust God and believe in Him.

Have any thoughts on this? Would love to hear from you! Please drop me a comment in the comment section below. And please share with anyone ‘feeling’ that way as well.

Love you guys,
Temitope Ogunyinka.



Bible Quote for the Day:
The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
Zephaniah  3:17 (KJV)

Let’s not forget the Thanks Challenge. (Thanking God throughout December) Please share the picture with family and friends.


Thanks Challenge: Day Nine




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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

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  1. I relate 100%. Feelings are quite fickle, I’m slowly learning not to place so much emphasis on them.

    Merry Christmas, Tope!! May God’s love be constantly evident in your life. Keep up the excellent work you’re doing.


    1. topeogunyinka@gmail.com says:

      Hey Oreofe… Happy New year in advance.
      Amen o! And in yours too. That’s a wonderful prayer and I would keep at it.
      Thanks 🙂

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