The Husband Checklist

Hey guys! Yes, we all have checklists for the kind of spouse we want. I mean… it helps us know if we’re on the right track or not… right? Well here’s another article by ‘Beniboba on her checklist for a husband. Enjoy!


I think it is so easy for us as single Christians to set up really high, unrealistic standards. We want a good guy because we get messages from Church and other Christians not to settle for less, or one who doesn’t meet our standards. We also get messages from the world that we should wait for the perfect guy. Our perfect Prince to take us off into the sunset, to live happily ever after (and we’ve gotten these ever since we were little, if, like me, you watched Disney princess movies in your childhood).

So, with all these messages, it’s hard to remember that we aren’t going to marry a perfect man. He will have weaknesses, he will sin, he will do things to hurt us and we will do things that hurt him. Our marriage won’t be perfect, but it will help us grow in our sanctification.  Even though we know this, sometimes it’s hard not to have unrealistic expectations.

I remember when a family friend asked me a while ago about the type of man I wanted to marry, and  with a smile on my face I started listing them. Some of the many things I said were:

– Tall (the one that I won’t be taller than me no matter how high the heels of my shoes are)

– Rich (this cannot be over emphasized),
– Handsome (of course!)

– God fearing (as a Christian I won’t want otherwise)

– Can cook (more than Indomie and egg)
– Romantic and loves to buy me gifts

– Has good leadership skills

– Plays a musical instrument (like the saxophone)


I didn’t even think about what I was going to offer that person, or if I met their own check-list! Having an idea of what you are looking for in a significant other is great! It means you actually took time be honest with what you’re really looking for in a relationship. But if I am really honest with you, I think there is something more important than a check-list and you can guess what it is? It’s who YOU are called to be first.

Focus on becoming the right person before looking for the right person. Everybody wants to find their future spouse, but what we all need to understand is the importance of being set in our personal identity. If not, your relationship might turn into a relationship wreck. If you know all you know about yourself now, will you get married to yourself? Next question is who are you? What attractive qualities do you have to attract a spouse. How prepared for marriage are you?

God is more focused on who you’re becoming than who you marry. Turn the focus of your heart to God before trying to gain the love of someone else.
Putting God first can never be over-emphasized, it is always the way to go. He will never lead you wrong. As Psalm 105:4 says “ Seek the Lord, and his strength: seek his face evermore”. Forget the husband check-list and become the check-list.

What checklist do you have that you feel seems unrealistic? Would love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below. Thanks!

★ Bible Quote for the Day:
‘Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to You.’
Psalm 143:8 (AMP)


‘Beniboba is an accountant but she’s very curious about a lot of things from food,  photography, fashion, people , books and most recently…. Her hair.



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Temitope Ogunyinka.



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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages. Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life. She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.


  1. “Forget the husband checklist and become the checklist”. <<<THIS!!!! 🙂 🙂
    I'll never forget the infinite way my mom burst into laughter when she asked me what kinda of husband I was looking for and she heard the things I was saying.. I then got a lesson similar to the one in this post.
    I think that once we develop ourselves we become the checklist God uses to bless us with His best for us.
    Lovely post,Beniboba!
    Temitope, I nominated you for a gratitude challenge. The details are on my blog.

    • Hey thegracedmisfit,

      First of all, I have to say that i LOVVVEEE your name. Lol

      About the article, you see, the problem is that most people are concerned with looking for the perfect spouse forgetting the person that needs to change and serve God wholeheartedly is the person in the mirror.

      Btw, your blog is very lovely.


    • Hey Thegracedmisfit! Would check it out…. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  2. Agreed, walking in his love and growing in his love is actually what will eventually lead one to his/her spouse, Personally I believe marriage is another way God teaches us and allows us to experience and express his love, also when you have kids you experience another dimension of expressing his love. Its quite lovely we being kids then young adults then married couple and then fathers/mothers all to show and experience Gods different dimension of Love for us.

    • Wow. That’s a really cool way of looking at it Seun. The different ways we get to experience love. Never thought of it like that. God is awesome! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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