Relationship Talks

What is Love?


Our theme for the month of February is #Love: what do you think of it. Today I’ll be kicking It off with the definition of love from the world’s perspective and God’s perspective . . . Let’s get started. 🙂 This post was first published on the Naked Convos.


“I love you . . .”
“Why do you love me?”
“I don’t know. I just feel it.”
“I don’t know why . . . I just do.”

What is love? This is a question that has numerous answers. People have different opinions on what love is and what it isn’t. Some definitions of love are based on a person’s background and what he or she has seen or been given as a show of love.

I will share a bit about myself. I’m from a broken home; broken in the sense that my parents are not together any-more. I remember when I was really young, my grandfather would pop the videotape of my parents wedding in the video player and while watching it I would cry. I wondered why two people who claimed to love each-other so much would decide not to be together any-more. What could have made them change their minds? I found it strange and I was too young to even understand. As the years grew by, I had this deep yearning to know more about love and what it actually meant.

I read books. I tried to understand what love was and what it wasn’t. I opened myself to a relationship where I would love the guy irrespective of his past and whatever. I wanted to show love, yet I had not yet understood what it meant. Would I say I do now? Well, I would just say I’m better than I was those years back. I believe I have learnt a few things about love.

Today we would look at three different sub-topics: What love isn’t, what we think it is and what God thinks/says it is.


What We Think It Is


At a point in time, I used to think that love was based on feelings. That I had to feel in love with someone first before I could say I love you. I had to hold back the words, ‘cause I felt they were very sacred and couldn’t be toyed with. I based it upon something I had to feel in my heart before I could say it. I later discovered love isn’t like that. Feelings fade, if they do . . . What then happens to love? It had to mean something else, right?

We may think love has to be when we just want to be around a particular person. Nope! Not necessarily. Some have also said that love is based on feelings, attractions. That the feelings come first ‘cause without that, there would be no basis for attraction. But then what happened to the likes of Rebekah in the bible who was given to a man in marriage without having seen him first?

Also, according to the soap operas we watch, we think love is a fairy tale and would always be full of happy times and would always be good. Is that true?
Well let’s look at what love isn’t.


What It’s NOT


These are a few things and know and have been able to research on about what love isn’t.

  • Love isn’t a feeling.
  • Love isn’t a crush, an infatuation and neither is it lust. It’s not about desiring a person’s body and the thought of having sex alone.
  • Love isn’t bought by material things and neither is it earned.
  • Love isn’t a place to accommodate abuse; either physically or verbally.
  • Love isn’t failing to recognize another person’s faults.
  • Love isn’t holding on to another’s faults.
  • Love isn’t about forcefully changing a person. Love is not about shouting to your partner, or whoever, that ‘cause you love him or her, they must change by all means or you walk. Love is not a threat or a weapon.
  • Love isn’t selfish.
  • Love isn’t proud.
  • Love isn’t greedy.
  • Love isn’t about turning a blind eye to the sins of others.
  • Love isn’t conditional on good times. I learnt this and I’m still working on it. A friend of mine reminded me of this by pointing out how I get all cranky when it’s that time of the month. Or when things aren’t going the way I want them to and I just let it weigh me down and don’t feel in the mood to be so loving. It shouldn’t be like that.

There may be others, which I would love you to share, but like I said those are the few I have right now.

So that being said what does God say Love is?


What GOD Says Love Is


Above all else, the best place to get the definition of love is from God. God is Love. Love is His nature. It’s who He is. The bible makes us see love as sacrificial. The popular verse, John 3 verse 16, makes us know how much God loves us that He sent His son to die for our sins. And this love isn’t even based on whether we love Him back! Isn’t that amazing? God loves us so much!

Love is action. It’s not only by saying the words I love you, but also following through with it. Love is also a command. The bible tells us to love everyone, even our enemies. Love those who everyone sees as unlovable. so it’s also not an option.

According to 1 Corinthians 13, it shows us all the different attributes of Love.

  • Love is patient.
  • Love forgives and lets go of the wrongs others have done.
  • Love rejoices in the truth.
  • Love bears all things.
  • Love hopes in all things.
  • Love believes all things. Now I have to say something on this one. We may believe that because Love believes in all things, we should also believe that sin is good or believe that ‘cause love covereth a multitude of sins, it’s okay to turn a blind eye to the sins of others and say yes to homosexuality or gay marriages or other sins. NO. Love believes all things applies to our relationship with each other. Love believes the best about someone. Even if the person isn’t what he or she is supposed to be, love will then hope for the person to become better!

God loves us unconditionally, ‘cause it says in His word that He loved us while we were yet sinners. He loves us, and when we give our lives to Christ He wants us to be better people. His love transforms us. He doesn’t force it down our throats. He lovingly corrects us and leads us in the right direction. At the end of the day . . . It’s our choice to change or remain the same way.

In conclusion, I believe love is a decision. It’s a decision to the above things in the bible even in the rough times. Love is committed. I have a friend who says he’s committed to his love decision, and I think that’s very cool.

What do you think? I would love to hear your own thoughts on what love is, what it isn’t and what God says it is. #Love: What do you think of it?

Love you all,
Temitope Ogunyinka.


♡Bible verse for the Day:
So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.
Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

Philippians 1: 9-11 MSG



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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

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