A Reader’s Perspective On Marital Investments

A Reader’s Perspective On Marital Investments

Hey Fam! So today’s article is one I enjoyed reading and had me smiling. A reader, and big sister, sent this in and I can relate alot to what age said about marriage preparation. Enjoy reading it as well and I’m sure you would get a lesson or two?
And I remember telling you I would share my love story… it’s coming up soonest!
Here’s Adejoke on how she prepared for marriage. . .

What did I do to prepare for Marriage?

Nothing! Okay that was a joke. Maybe not nothing but I really cannot remember doing something specifically in preparation for marriage.

The question is, did I get married totally unprepared? The answer is No. Or did I go into marriage totally prepared? The answer is still No. Was I adequately prepared? That’s debatable; my Mum will say no, I will say yes.

Could I have been more prepared? Yes, I could have been more prepared for LIFE.

Don’t get me wrong I prayed like every Christian girl should, but my prayer was more about my purpose and fulfilling God’s will for me. 

So what did I do to prepare for life… oh sorry, for Marriage?

I built my relationship with God. I learnt to recognize God’s voice. Most of my personal preference/choice of a life partner never really worked out. I have been in relationships I was sure was the best for me but soon realized wasn’t good enough for my life. So I knew without a doubt I needed to totally depend on God to make the right choice, not just for a life partner but for everything.

Learnt to love God’s way. I have been in love this minute and out of love the next so I knew loving my way will always fizzle out. So I had to learn what love is, God’s way. So that I can love people (yeah my husband included) right and long.  

Learnt to see the best in every one and not just about how butterflies in my tummy reacts.

I learnt to forgive and prayed to find a man that would love me for the long haul.

Learnt to be productive and useful. I remember being forced to stay in the kitchen to learn to cook because I am a girl instead of playing or doing something else. I remember my aunt always saying you will get married one day and that got me more pissed, won’t the boys also get married?

Anyway I learnt the skill.

It was fun and I started enjoying it. But trust me I needed the skill but not just for marriage. I think I cooked more varieties as a single lady than as a married one. Yeah surprisingly I am married to someone that is not crazy about food and would rather drink garri than eat lasagna or any “mendemende” like he calls some food.

Proverbs 18:15-16 KJV, 15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.

Seek knowledge, use the gift God gave you not just to be ready for that ONE man/woman (spouse), but the many great men you are destined to meet.

If I was only making preparation just with marriage in mind, I will probably make a good wife, and make my husband my God (An idol). Or once I get married, I will feel the mission is accomplished and abort all learning process.

So in fewer words, think broadly there is more to your life than eating and drinking, marrying and being given in marriage. All these are very important, in fact they are my favorite things to do, but it’s not the core of our existence. 

Matthew 11:29 KJV, Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Jesus said learn of me and you will find rest. During your marriage prep, Learn from Jesus.

Thanks for reading. Drop a comment and do share with friends!

 I am pearl.

Author’s Bio :


Adejoke, is an information technology specialist. She holds a masters degree in Management Information Systems, and bachelor’s in Computer Science.
An avid reader who enjoys writing plays and teaching kids.
She is married and lives in the United States with her husband (Victor) and two lovely daughters (Oluwanifise and Mojetoluwa).



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Thanks fam!
Temitope Ogunyinka.

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