Life Issues

Don’t Always Expect Love Back


When you love others …. don’t always expect them to love you back.

John 13:34 KJV,  A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

In life it’s said that it’s easy to love someone who loves you back, but when it comes to loving someone who doesn’t even care about you, or doesn’t love you like you love him or her. . . It’s hard.

In the above bible passage Jesus gave a new command that we should love others as He has loved us. That’s huge. To love as Christ loved us is to love unconditionally and sacrificially. He loved even when we didn’t love Him yet.

I remember when I had just started university and was reading books on relationship determined to start off on the right foot and discover for myself what love really was. One of the books I read was Michelle Mckinney Hammond’s book ‘Diva-tudes’. She listed out a number of things about being single and comfortable where you are and in the process getting the right man.

But what really engrossed me was her talk on love. She spoke about loving others freely. That when we develop our love relationship with God and are filled with His love we become single and whole. We have spent time developing a close relationship with God and let Him love others through us. We would get to a stage where we love others and don’t expect them to love us back.

You do good to others and don’t expect them to show you that same kindness; whether they do or not you are comfortable in God’s love. It really shook me and taught me another level of love. You may ask yourself, ‘Can I really love someone who doesn’t love me back?’

Yes, you can. It may be hard, but it’s possible.

We grow so much and mature in God’s love that we are able to give it freely without the other person loving us back.

Jesus laid it out that we should love as He has loved us. What’s amazing in that particular scripture is that the way Jesus loves us… the way HE loves you and I … is beyond anything we can imagine.

I read this excerpt in a write up at, “Like maturity, love is a process rather than a state. People don’t actually “fall in love”; they grow into it instead. Maturing love involves growing from a state of receiving much and giving little toward a state of cheerfully giving everything and demanding nothing in return. This whole process is a part of maturity.”

This is just a reminder to me ’cause there are times when I have helped someone and would just expect the person to help back… just because I helped in the first place. But I’ve learnt it doesn’t always have to be like that. I shouldn’t help or give something to another person in the hope of getting it back. I should help and give irrespective of whether the other person would help or give me back.

♡ Bible Quotes for the Day:

43 You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy; [Lev. 19:18; Ps. 139:21, 22.]

44 But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, [Prov. 25:21, 22.]

Matthew 5:43‭-‬44 AMPC



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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

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  1. Patience Bassey says:

    I won’t expect someone to love me back again. It mayb hard though especially when you’ve helped that person and now he/she refuses to help you inreturn when he/she is in position to do that.

    1. Yeah, I agree. 🙂 But then we can do it through God’s help. We should open our hearts to allow God’s love take over and lead us. God help us all.

  2. Tokunboh Ogunyinka says:

    Good one Tope. I pray that God will give us the grace to love unconditionally. It gives peace of mind. Moreover it is a command from God. We must love our enemies and pray for them.

    1. Amen. Thanks for reading ?

  3. Thank you as always…. You never know how much your write up means to me may God continue to bless you.
    *Like maturity, love is a process rather than a state. People don’t actually “fall in love”; they grow into it instead.

    1. Hi Bola! Amen, God bless you too. Thank God. God is teaching me different things these days and I’m learning 🙂 Where have you been all this while?

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