Frances Okoro: Can I Really Love Someone I Don’t Like?

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.”
-John 15:12

Dear God,

I really really desire to obey your above commandment… because I really really love you and want to please you… BUT THERE IS THIS GUY I JUST.DON’T.LIKE!

I just can’t explain it.

I have thought and thought about the reason why I just don’t like him.
We live in the same house and he is nice to me but still, I can’t work it in me to like him.
Sometimes his mere presence irritates me… I know Lord, this isn’t what you expect from me, but I am not even trying to pretend and hide the state of my heart towards this guy from You because I know that it is in laying it all bare that I will find a solution to this predicament.

I mean, just the other day he said something that was just plain annoying!

In this day and age, who in their right senses still comes up with the crap of “mind how you talk to me, you know I am your senior????”.
I mean, I have friends who I banter with and they are in their 30s, not to talk of someone who is just maybe 4years older than me and DOES NOT respect me in return. If you want respect, why don’t you give out same respect???

I know Lord, you were warning me not to retort but I just could not hold it in, I WAS MAD.
More especially because “this senior” has done annoying things to me before and I kept quiet and HE NEVER APOLOGIZED!
I mean, who does that???
Who knows that they have offended someone and does not apologize? Ever?


And I was even more mad when You asked me to go apologize for raising my voice and talking back at him… I tried to do so and explain my point but guess what? This guy walked out on me.

For real..
Again, I was like????

I only apologized because You asked me to do so and I wanted to pray and knew You wouldn’t allow me leave that loophole while I was praying to You… so I tried, I really tried to love this guy who I don’t like.

Because of Him, I constantly read 1st Corinthians 13 almost every morning. Pleading with You to put love in my heart for him but everytime he walked into a room, I felt irritated again. And again. But I kept praying. Since You didn’t say “I have to like who I should love” in your love letter to me, I believed that I could love this guy without necessarily liking him. And it worked! Or it is working… Still a work in progress.

I noticed that what my prayers for grace to love him did for me was that it began to soften my heart towards this guy that I couldn’t stand.
I could look at him without getting irritated at everything he did.
And I remember You even leading me to give him a can of malt when really, I didn’t even want to speak to him.

It hasn’t been an easy walk but I grow in this love walk each day Lord.
And yes, at first I just wanted to report this guy to You, but today I also want to thank You for pouring upon me grace to love this guy I don’t like.

Yes Lord, there is this guy I don’t like…

But also, there is this guy I love with your love now that I never used to like.

Thank you Jesus.

Your girl,

Have you ever been faced with the situation of loving someone you don’t like?
How did you move past your human feelings unto the 1Corinthians 13 threshold?
Please share with us in the comment section below.




Frances Okoro is a Lawyer, Author and Christian blogger who is passionate about raising women and youths for and in God.
She is the founder of “The Women At The Well” ladies group (blog at and “Beautiful Feet”, a platform for teaching aspiring authors how to birth their books to life.
Visit her blog at

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