Relationship Talks

Frances Okoro: Not Every Coincidence Is God’s Will

I met him at a Church programme… I noticed his body built and was like hmmm… that will work.

Didn’t think that he noticed me till about two weeks later, he resurfaced at church again and asked for my number.

And then it began!

And I was all shades of excited.

Deal was, he came to Church on a day when I felt really “led” to go to Church.
I didn’t want to go, but kept getting tugged on to go and surprise! After two weeks of not being in Church, he was there.
I put two and two together and started wondering if this was God’s way of bringing us together…

Again when we started talking and I was confused, I stumbled onto a love story which started almost like mine did and ended in marriage and I believe I was so desperate for confirmation from anywhere basically, and again thought, “this isn’t just a mere coincidence, God must be saying something!”.

I laugh.

God wasn’t saying nothing, I was the one fabricating all sorts of something in my head.

My saving grace was that I had dedicated my love life to God years back and had determined not to say yes to any man till God said yes.

So since I didn’t get an express yes, I stayed praying… and everything unravelled.


He wasn’t the one.

He had issues with staying chaste.

He had issues with being financially prudent.

His discretion and wisdom level was zilch.

And the icing on the cake was God expressly saying with circumstances that “this isn’t the one!”

But what happened to all those seemingly divinely orchestrated coincidences then?

Simply coincidences.

I know we all believe that no coincidence happens in our lives and that’s true, but what’s to say that that “coincidence” that happened with that guy is God’s yes to you?

When it was all over, I remember walking home and nodding my head as I felt the Spirit teaching me that “not every coincidence is God’s will”.

What is God’s will then?

God’s will is what you have when you have renewed your mind, consecrated your body and mind and life to Him, and go to seek His face in prayers for His answer concerning that relationship.

When He answers you from His word which is His bond, then you can say that yes, this is God’s will.

But don’t go springing God’s confirmation on a relationship just because he appeared at Church or at the mall at the moment you were thinking about him.

When you are faced with a relationship decision to make, get on your knees before God, open up to Him in prayers and ask Him for His answer based on His word and what He thinks… not on coincidences.

Cheers to us all seeking God for ourselves…

Learning to hear Him speak…

And obeying Him when He speaks.


Frances Okoro.


About Frances:


Frances Okoro is a lawyer by profession and a writer and Christian blogger by calling.
She has a heart for young girls and youths generally and runs “Awakening Youths”, an organization for awakening youths to God’s purpose and plan for their lives.
She is the author of two books…

You should absolutely download her FREE e-book “Chastity for Men” (with an exclusive chapter for the ladies) HERE

And purchase her new book “10 Steps to Walking in Purpose” HERE
And visit her blog at for more life-changing words from her.



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Temitope Ogunyinka, is a loving, caring and friendly person. She is passionate about impacting the world through timeless wisdom and knowledge found in her thought provoking stories and writing that applies to all ages.

Her stories and articles cut across love, relationship and romance in a way that does not deny the relevance of God in our everyday life.

She is a devoted christian, passionate about bringing people to the knowledge of God’s true and unfailing love.

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  1. Asheadzi says:

    I agree totally…not all coincidence is God’s will…God bless you for this piece….

    1. Thank you Asheadzi

  2. Olawumi says:

    Good read.
    Totally agree- not all meeting is/are God’s plan. Like you rightly said we wants something so bad, that we will begin to look for an answer even if our heart knows is wrong.
    That is why we should continue to pray to God, because He is the best way and He won’t lead us to the wrong path .

    1. Yes Olawumi, prayers are mightily important…they are what helps us to see clearly…especially praying in the Spirit…fastest way to pray God’s will and mind over a decision/issue..and our own minds/thoughts won’t interfere…

  3. Oladapo Omotosho says:

    I have a question. God expressly saying with circumstances that “this isn’t the one!” ??? What circumstances? Aren’t those coincidences in themselves? The perceived negatives of the 2 weekend brother could be things you were meant to help him with.
    My question is this. How do you separate a mere coincidence from a mere circumstance?
    Please reply

    1. Olawumi says:

      Interesting way of looking at it.
      Coincidence is things happening without a good explanation to it while i will say circumstances are you planning something and things keeps happening like for example (you want to travel and every time there is something bad happening where you are planning to visit)

      – so will say coincidence is you seeing something and you can control it while circumstances are things one cant control.

      – I may be wrong but that is the way i see it

    2. Hi Oladapo…
      Great question!
      I can’t go into specifics of the “circumstances” that made me know that the guy wasn’t the one… but of course you are a Christian (I believe you are as I have read some of your posts) you’ll agree with me that as you pray about issues, your antenna is more clear to receive and get what God is saying about an issue.

      The circumstance of meeting him was simply a Coincedence and it wasn’t God telling me that he was my husband, it was me tagging it as a confirmation arising from my feelings/thoughts/etc.
      The more I prayed about it all, the more I could tell it was God speaking from an incidence or not…

      We mostly can’t explain these things.
      For example, I cannot explain to you about how God answered me about the relationship that brought me to Jesus… it was a dark night where again I sought God’s face concerning this relationship that had drained me, etc, etc.
      And suddenly again, a circumstance exploded behind me from my boyfriend…and I can’t explain it, but I knew it was God speaking, my answer was gotten…and there was such peace in my heart, I literally could feel my Father hugging me with the circumstance that happened… was it a mere Coincedence? no.

      So for me, I can differentiate a mere Coincedence from a circumstance with which God is speaking when I have prayed about it… praying about it brings clarity to me in ways that I can’t explain to you in words.
      Then I know which one of these circumstance God is indeed using to speak to me and which isn’t my emotions/ thoughts just springing up whatever on me…

      If we are attuned to God, it’s easier to tell the difference…

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