Her mother acted out exactly the way Adesewa thought she would.
“Oh that poor girl! Why would a man just abandon his fiancée two days before the wedding? ! What is happening these days? Adesewa your own will not be like that in Jesus name. By this time next year you would be married and pregnant with your own children. No nonsense man would cross your path… only a sensible and God-fearing man.”
“Amen.” Adesewa said and took a sip of her orange juice.
“But did she do anything to warrant him making such a drastic decision?” Her father asked from where he sat at the head of the table.
Adesewa was about taking a spoon full of her goatmeat peppersoup when he asked. “Well, they had a few issues but I believe it could have been sorted out without calling off the wedding.”
He shook his head. “I can’t imagine how she feels. It’s better a broken engagement than a broken marriage. It could have been far worse. Who knows the future? Maybe things would not have gone well with them.”
“I never thought of it that way.” She wondered if it all happened for a purpose and God was interested in doing something new in Zainab’s life. The thought made her excited.
Her mother scoffed. “And what if things went on well between them? It’s all a matter of chance.”
“I don’t think one should take chances in marriage. It’s a serious deal to make a decision to commit to one person for the rest of your life; no matter the situation you both find yourselves in.”
Adesewa just ate her meal and enjoyed the conversation between her parents. She had missed dinners like this; when they could have meaningful discussions and laugh and be a family.
“I remember when your father and I got married. In the beginning things were a little hard with money. We both just finished Youth Service and we were trying to make ends meet. All our struggles brought us closer together instead of driving us apart. We made sure we placed God as the centre of our lives. If not for God I don’t know where we would be right now.”
Adesewa smiled at her parents. “Thank God for all He does in our lives.”
“Darling, you know I love you. It’s not because of any desperate need to have grandchildren -”
“Are you sure?” Her father cut in.
Ignoring the comment her mother continued, “I want the best for you. I know I’ve been pressing for you to get married but God knows best. I just don’t want you to be the one closing doors on possible husband materials. Be open-minded, but let God lead you.”
Her mother blew her a kiss and they moved on to other topics.
Why have you forsaken your First Love?
The question disturbed Efe. She hadn’t let go of God. She still loved Him. She still read her bible and prayed; so how could she have forsaken Him? If it was about the divorce she didn’t believe God wanted her to keep suffering in a dead-end relationship.
Her ringing phone was a welcome distraction from her thoughts. She smiled at who was calling and picked it immediately.
“Hi Funlola!” She settled on her bed and stretched her legs.
“Efe dear how are you?”
“I’m great and you? How’s pregnancy treating you?”
“Well, I thank God. Asides the morning sickness and dizziness and the hunger pangs for local bukas. . . I’m okay.”
Efe laughed when she said local bukas. She knew Funlola loved eating out. “Do you still eat your Amala and Gbegiri?”
“Ehn! Please don’t mention that food again. I can’t stand it. Now I go for jollof-rice, fried-rice, peppered chicken and peppersoup. I seem to have more cravings for pepper.”
“Awww… don’t worry after pregnancy you would enjoy your Amala again. Just trying not to get too fat with all that chicken.”
She hissed. “Abeg, let me eat and enjoy the pregnancy. When I give birth I can focus on loosing weight, funny enough PJ likes the added weight. He said it makes me look more beautiful. Anyhow sha. So how are you?”
Efe wriggled her toes. “I’m fine. We’re working on our end of the year party here. I miss Eluwa. I wish she could be here and we could spend Christmas together.”
“Won’t you be returning for the holidays?”
“No, I won’t. I prefer to be done with youth service and come back when I’m done. I guess it’s more economical for me.” Her hand toyed with the heart pendant. It would also give her more time to spend with Amanze. He was going to bring his son on their next date and she looked forward to it.
“Okay. Does it also have anything to do with Daniel and the divorce you want to give him?”
Efe blinked. How did she know? Probably Daniel had mentioned it to them… or maybe his mother had told Uncle John and he had told Funlola.
“It has nothing to do with that.”
“Efe, why do you want a divorce?”
Efe wasn’t prepared for her line of questioning. It was her life for goodness sake. “Funlola you of all people should understand. You know what Daniel did to me. You know he never really loved me and he had an affair. Doesn’t that count? Why are all of you questioning my decisions?! Why can’t you go and meet Daniel and ask why he kicked me out of our matrimonial home and cheated on me? Why am I suddenly the bad person?”
Funlola sighed and told her to hold on. The few seconds gave her time to calm down. She heard sounds of plates and pots.
“I’m back. Sorry I had to get something to eat. Babes, I’m not accusing you. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I just asked why you want a divorce.”
Efe rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting and holding on to false hopes. I don’t love him anymore and I feel it’s best we go our separate ways and move on with our lives. It’s not easy to forgive when you’ve been hurt.”
“I haven’t been hurt the way you have but I did betray PJ when I was sleeping around with different men. I even got pregnant and couldn’t tell who I was pregnant for. Isn’t that crazy?”
Efe could remember that time in her life. How uncle John had suffered and had waited for her to come back to him.
“And to top it off… I wasn’t really in love with John. I married him for his money and his father’s fame. Why should he want me or love me knowing all that? Shouldn’t he just divorce me and get married to another woman that can be a proper pastor’s wife? God wanted him to love me. God wanted him to wait for me and take me back. How could I have turned a blind eye and closed my heart to that kind of love? I would only do that if I’m very very … infact a million times stupid!”
Efe removed her hand from the pendant and closed her eyes.
“Sweetie… what has God told you to do? Don’t follow the masses and think divorce is always the best option. No matter the mistakes the both of you have made… is it too hard for God to fix? Think about it please. Pray before you make anymore decisions. I love you sis. I have to go now.”
Efe nodded. “Thank for calling. I love you too. My regards to uncle John.”
“He would hear.”
As soon as Efe dropped the phone it rang again. This time it was Amanze calling. She hesitated before picking the call.
“Hi sweetie!” He sounded happy.
“Why do you sound so down? Are you okay?”
She shrugged. She couldn’t tell him all she and Funlola had just discussed. “I’m okay. Just tired.”
“Hmmm… I’m coming over with pizza and a bowl of ice-cream. Hopefully, we can cheer you up and bring that sweet smile of yours to your face.”
Efe laughed. She could use the company even if it want the right one she needed. “Okay. See you soon.”
The sleep had been good but it still made her awake to her reality. Her depressing reality. Zainab got up from her bed and walked barefeet to her kitchen. She pulled open the fridge and found it empty. She uttered a profanity and slammed it shut. She looked over at her dispenser bottles… even those were empty. She screamed and slammed her hands on the marble counter, tears filled her eyes from the sudden action. She bit her lip and made her way to the living room and collapsed on the couch.
Her cousin Sonia was the cause of her pains and sorrow. Zainab knew if she saw Sonia she would do serious damage to her; probably even kill her. But what was the point?
It may make her feel better but it wouldn’t reverse what had happened. I.K wouldn’t even consider her if she was a murderer!
She closed her eyes and laid her head on a throw pillow. Nowadays she couldn’t sleep. Her business we suffering from it and she didn’t know how to get past it. Her usual drugs didn’t seem appealing to her anymore. It repulsed her now. What was she to do? Audrey had tried being of comfort to her but she had chased her away and said she wanted to be alone.
Her door bell rang. She didn’t get up to answer it, thinking maybe someone had heard her scream and was coming to check if she was okay. She laughed at the thought. This was Nigeria… did anyone care about anyone? The door bell kept ringing and she got up to check who it was. She had not expected who she saw standing infront of her.
♡ Bible Quote for the Day:
Psalms 70:4 KJV, “Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.”