Virginity and The Marital Bed

Virginity and The Marital Bed

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Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. Make no mistake about it, there are still virgins in the world today. Men and women who have decided to keep sex for the marital bed.

So you are a virgin. Yaaay, drum roll… I really must say that I am proud of you and God is mighty proud of you too. I mean despite the temptations from within and without,you held on and kept your virginity against all odds,with God’s help of course. You did good. Oya chop knuckle…

Now I have been been in different platforms and the commonest question most virgins ask is, when I get married,h ow would I know what to do, how do I know what I am to do during sex? Please fret no more as this is an expose to get yourself equipped before your first sexual act after marriage. So here goes…

Get Understanding: Proverbs 4:7 says ‘wisdom is the principal thing,therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting, get understanding’. Understanding is the correct interpretation of knowledge while wisdom is the correct application of knowledge. So for you to be wise, you need to be able to correctly interpret whatever knowledge you have gleaned. In knowing what to do on the marital bed as a virgin, get knowledge and with all your knowledge get understanding. Now how do you get this understanding specifically? Truth is, there is a wealth of knowledge in the world today from different sources, read the bible(songs of Solomon is full of so much knowledge on the subject of sex) and read books written about sex. No ‘films’ please, such films corrupt your spirit, mainly letting you have unrealistic expectations. It’s a fact that characters in such movies are ‘helped’ to perform such acts with the help of drugs. As a word of caution,you might want to engage in this understanding acquisition when the wedding date has been set though, Songs of Solomon 2:7B says ‘don’t excite love,don’t stir it up,until the time is ripe and you are ready’ (MSG translation).

The Holy Spirit: There’s barely any brand  in the world today without a customer service center where you can call in to or go to physically to resolve issues. So also is the holy spirit available for clarifications, answering of questions and supply of hitherto unknown knowledge. The holy spirit teaches all things(John14:26), so what are you waiting for? Go ahead and ask Him.You have waited this long so you really need to enjoy the marital bed and not endure it.

Be sincere about your sexual status: As straightforward as this seems,some people still fall prey. Let your spouse(especially when your spouse  is not a virgin) be aware of your status so expectations are set realistically. You really do not want your spouse treating you like you are experienced when you are not and vice versa.Enough said.

Be at rest: Ensure you do not give in to jittery feelings about the marital bed. This is why it is important you marry your friend so you can truly relax and talk through your feelings in an atmosphere of acceptance, openness and tolerance. Also relax and enjoy the process as it might take ‘a while to figure things out’. No need to rush or put yourself under unnecessary pressure.

Pre-marital & Marital counseling: Most churches have pre-marital counseling where issues such as sex, finance, in-laws are counseled on in great detail. Please take advantage of this and ask as much questions as necessary. Also, ensure you get satisfactory practical answers. If after the marriage, you still have grey areas on the marital bed,do not suffer in silence. It is totally unnecessary, do go back for marital counseling.

I wish you the very best of experiences on the marital bed.

God loves you irrevocably,never you forget that.

Author’s Bio:


I am an unrepentant reader especially Christian literature. Once upon a time, I wrote articles, I haven’t written in years though. With the help of the Holy spirit I dedicate my life to honoring God, one day at a time‎.



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